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Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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From A to B 90’s Style – Episode 10
Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fall is here and although the seasons may be changing the M.O. here at From A to B 90’s Style remains the same; great commentary on 90’s music videos! This month Bear Frazer and I take a look at clips from Ahmad, Garbage, Tatyana Ali and Donna Lewis, adding in our brilliant observations and insights along way. Enjoy!

Adam: I’m choosing this video because I'm old now and sometimes I need to reminisce.

Bear: Magnifying glass? Are they burning ants?
Adam: Bear, do you mack on baby hood rats?
Bear: Every now and again, when I'm broke.
Adam: Hey, I had karate shoes... still do!
Bear: They have pretty neat handwriting.
Adam: Dude, Ahmad got FUCKED UP as a kid.
Bear: Was it ever cool to look like a walrus?
Adam: Ask The Beatles. Yo, I remember way back when... way back in my twenties.
Bear: Really? Did you mack on hood rats then too?
Adam: Yes. Ha ha. They had Poison airbrushed on their backsides. Now all I see on girl’s asses is the word "PINK."
Bear: Ha ha. Nice. It's a good video, considering it was made off a 300 dollar budget. That also included catering from what I heard.
Adam: Home videos and children's artwork works wonders.
Bear: Perhaps Danzig can take notes.
Adam: Ha. I sit and wish I was kid again, cuz then USA Up All Night would be on right now.

Bear: Here’s my first choice.

Adam: I love me some Shirley Manson.
Bear: She was so hot in this video.
Adam: And I also love me some stupid girls.
Bear: Mmmmm mmmmm. I never understood why this video looked so shoddy, though.
Adam: Maybe it was shot by a stupid girl and she was all mad Shirley was making fun of her, so she was like "fuck you Shirley, I'm not even gonna white balance!"
Bear: Ha ha. If Shirley Manson wasn't in this video the stupid girl videographer wouldn't have a job. Good lord, does she have DSLs!
Adam: Yeah. You know, I was just thinking, this would be a fairly terrible wedding song.
Bear: Man, Shirley seems very upset at this girl. This stupid girl sounds more like a stupid whore.
Adam: She likes to tame? Hmmm, stupid girl now sounds like a dominatrix.
Bear: European girls make things sound kinky. Ask Scary Spice about that.
Adam: Whoa, that ended abruptly, but here at From A to B we don’t even have to watch the ENTIRE video, so fuck it.
Bear: Precisely. A stupid cut job by a YouTube poster. How fitting, eh?
Adam: Yes, she must have been a stupid girl.

Adam: OK, hate me for this, but I wanna run with one of my favorite females here.

Bear: It's Ashley Banks!
Adam: Ashley Banks in the muthafukkin house, but why is the airport abandoned?
Bear: Because Tatyana Ali stops traffic… including air traffic.
Adam: She looks like she just came from the gym. Whoa, hey now, swimsuit!
Bear: Now it looks like she just came from a picnic.
Adam: She wrote this about me. True story.
Bear: Well, the song is better than the video. Now if she were just in a bathing suit the whole time it would be a helluva lot better.
Adam: Daydreaming through air travel posters
Bear: Hey, who's this guy?
Adam: Worst line ever coming up.
Bear: Is Fresh Prince going to have to choke out a wanksta?
Adam: “You on channel 11 / I carry the M11 / RJ call the reverend / it's a match made in heaven.”
Bear: Is that Daddy Yankee in the white shirt?
Adam: Ha ha! That’s Peter Gunz, father of Cory Gunz.
Bear: Now who's this cracker?
Adam: Is that Antonio Sabato Jr.?
Bear: Damn, this chick is boy crazy.
Adam: Get your grubby paws off my dame! I'm old now, so I can say that.

Bear: Now you can hate me.

Adam: You’re so fucking gay. Ha ha!
Bear: Donna Lewis looks so adorable. She needs some new Rimmel though.
Adam: With her white outfit and black boots?
Bear: Why is she in a padded room?
Adam: Whoa, almost titties! Well, it’s safe to say the most exciting thing in this video just happened.
Bear: I'm still looking for them.
Adam: Is this camera person the same one from the Garbage video?
Bear: OK, this is making me nauseous. Not the tits, but the damn camera angles.
Adam: All aboard the same train of thought.
Bear: She is bending over. Mmmmm. Assume the position.
Adam: “Forever” is a scary ass word coming from Donna Lewis.
Bear: What's even scarier is her trying to play piano.
Adam: This song and video could have been just as at home in 1987.
Bear: Why is she wearing her boots like mittens?
Adam: Cuz she's in a padded cell.
Bear: Must have been the same room Britney once occupied.

Past Episodes

Episode 9
Episode 8
Episode 7


posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:43 AM  
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