Name: Adam Bernard Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome. See my complete profile
Fall is here and although the seasons may be changing the M.O. here at From A to B 90’s Style remains the same; great commentary on 90’s music videos! This month Bear Frazer and I take a look at clips from Ahmad, Garbage, Tatyana Ali and Donna Lewis, adding in our brilliant observations and insights along way. Enjoy!
Adam: I’m choosing this video because I'm old now and sometimes I need to reminisce.
Bear: Magnifying glass? Are they burning ants? Adam: Bear, do you mack on baby hood rats? Bear: Every now and again, when I'm broke. Adam: Hey, I had karate shoes... still do! Bear: They have pretty neat handwriting. Adam: Dude, Ahmad got FUCKED UP as a kid. Bear: Was it ever cool to look like a walrus? Adam: Ask The Beatles. Yo, I remember way back when... way back in my twenties. Bear: Really? Did you mack on hood rats then too? Adam: Yes. Ha ha. They had Poison airbrushed on their backsides. Now all I see on girl’s asses is the word "PINK." Bear: Ha ha. Nice. It's a good video, considering it was made off a 300 dollar budget. That also included catering from what I heard. Adam: Home videos and children's artwork works wonders. Bear: Perhaps Danzig can take notes. Adam: Ha. I sit and wish I was kid again, cuz then USA Up All Night would be on right now.
Bear: Here’s my first choice.
Adam: I love me some Shirley Manson. Bear: She was so hot in this video. Adam: And I also love me some stupid girls. Bear: Mmmmm mmmmm. I never understood why this video looked so shoddy, though. Adam: Maybe it was shot by a stupid girl and she was all mad Shirley was making fun of her, so she was like "fuck you Shirley, I'm not even gonna white balance!" Bear: Ha ha. If Shirley Manson wasn't in this video the stupid girl videographer wouldn't have a job. Good lord, does she have DSLs! Adam: Yeah. You know, I was just thinking, this would be a fairly terrible wedding song. Bear: Man, Shirley seems very upset at this girl. This stupid girl sounds more like a stupid whore. Adam: She likes to tame? Hmmm, stupid girl now sounds like a dominatrix. Bear: European girls make things sound kinky. Ask Scary Spice about that. Adam: Whoa, that ended abruptly, but here at From A to B we don’t even have to watch the ENTIRE video, so fuck it. Bear: Precisely. A stupid cut job by a YouTube poster. How fitting, eh? Adam: Yes, she must have been a stupid girl.
Adam: OK, hate me for this, but I wanna run with one of my favorite females here.
Bear: It's Ashley Banks! Adam: Ashley Banks in the muthafukkin house, but why is the airport abandoned? Bear: Because Tatyana Ali stops traffic… including air traffic. Adam: She looks like she just came from the gym. Whoa, hey now, swimsuit! Bear: Now it looks like she just came from a picnic. Adam: She wrote this about me. True story. Bear: Well, the song is better than the video. Now if she were just in a bathing suit the whole time it would be a helluva lot better. Adam: Daydreaming through air travel posters Bear: Hey, who's this guy? Adam: Worst line ever coming up. Bear: Is Fresh Prince going to have to choke out a wanksta? Adam: “You on channel 11 / I carry the M11 / RJ call the reverend / it's a match made in heaven.” Bear: Is that Daddy Yankee in the white shirt? Adam: Ha ha! That’s Peter Gunz, father of Cory Gunz. Bear: Now who's this cracker? Adam: Is that Antonio Sabato Jr.? Bear: Damn, this chick is boy crazy. Adam: Get your grubby paws off my dame! I'm old now, so I can say that.
Bear: Now you can hate me.
Adam: You’re so fucking gay. Ha ha! Bear: Donna Lewis looks so adorable. She needs some new Rimmel though. Adam: With her white outfit and black boots? Bear: Why is she in a padded room? Adam: Whoa, almost titties! Well, it’s safe to say the most exciting thing in this video just happened. Bear: I'm still looking for them. Adam: Is this camera person the same one from the Garbage video? Bear: OK, this is making me nauseous. Not the tits, but the damn camera angles. Adam: All aboard the same train of thought. Bear: She is bending over. Mmmmm. Assume the position. Adam: “Forever” is a scary ass word coming from Donna Lewis. Bear: What's even scarier is her trying to play piano. Adam: This song and video could have been just as at home in 1987. Bear: Why is she wearing her boots like mittens? Adam: Cuz she's in a padded cell. Bear: Must have been the same room Britney once occupied.
B-Listers are a select group of artists that were featured in my Artist Of The Week series that ran every Monday from April of '06 to April of '11. All of these artists have two things in common; extreme talent, and a flight path far too under the radar for my liking. They took on the title of B-Listers as they embraced being featured by me, Adam B. Check out the AOTW Archives for all the interviews.