Name: Adam Bernard Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome. See my complete profile
Today the greatest episodic blog series to ever grace the earth returns with Episode 13 of From A to B 90’s Style. This month fellow superstar journalist Bear Frazer and I are tackling videos by Ace of Base, Del Amitri, Reel 2 Real and Elton John. Lacing all of them with the wit and powerful social commentary you’ve come to expect to from us. Enjoy!
Adam: Let’s start things off with something Swedish.
Adam: Wait, is this Mannequin? Bear: This video is very... two tone. Adam: I love that growl she has. Bear: Is it me, or does that living room look cluttered? Adam: Very. Cluttered living room, cluttered mind? Bear: I see the cluttered parallels, and whoever "she" is, "she" sounds like a whore… or Lily Allen. Adam: Hey, leave my Lily out of this! Bear: Check out that chick's hairstyle. I love it. It's so late 80's. Adam: She's the hunter, you're the fox. Bear: No. I'm the bear. Adam: Ha ha! Wait, we have “gentle voices that talk to us???” Thank God, I thought that was just me. Bear: Wait a second, is the yellow tint getting darker? Adam: There’s no smoking in bars Chachi!!! Man, that girl is skanky as all hell. Bear: My kinda girl. The other type are virgins. Adam: Oh the moralistic croonings of Swedish pop groups. Bear: Now where's the scene of them being nude on the beach? Adam: My personal files.
Bear: My first video is… less Swedish.
Bear: Look at these women strut. Adam: Whoa, that baby is ugly! The girls are hot, though. Bear: But those kids... were they born with those beards? Adam: Aaand there's your beach scene. Bear: Ha ha. I knew it would come in handy! Adam: He sings pretty well for a baby. Bear: They're overdeveloped. I guess its "Look Who's Talking: The Mature Baby Version.” Adam: I mean, he's no Jordy, but he's alright. Ahhh! Nooo! Close your legs dude!!! Bear: That baby with the long stache looks like John Belushi's motorcycle homeboy from Animal House. Damn! Babies checking out hot chicks in one piece suits at the beach… I'm envious of those toddlers. Adam: Blondes with boobs. A fine choice Mr. Frazer!
Adam: Alright, now let’s get loud and repetitive!
Bear: Oh wow! He's moving it in the city! Adam: Giant reggae singer loose in the city. News at 11. Bear: How dangerous! Oh my God! Is that girl's skirt flipping into the air? Adam: Yessir it is. Bear: How despicable! He's making them shake their saltshakers! He has some nerve. Adam: This video is pure genius, possibly the best video ever. But now he's saying he likes to move it move it. I much prefer the girls moving it moving it. Bear: Yeah and he is trying to move it. Adam: That girl is totally ignoring the loud reggae singer at the table. Bear: Which ain't appreciated. She's like, "sorry, I need to wash my hair." Adam: If he came up to my table singing like that I'd probably be like "oh really. Is that so? Now how about you move it move it outta my booth!” Bear: Ha ha! "Keep it moving, buddy!" Man, these girls are moving it everywhere. Inside... outside... it's everywhere! Adam: Even outside of the New Yorker they move it move it. Bear: This is one insane news report. Adam: On the next VH1's Where Are They Now... everyone from this video. Bear: Yeah. I'll tell you one place they don't move it, the Swedish beaches with the toddlers from Del Amitri.
Bear: Capping things off this month, something from a knight.
Adam: Oh for the love of God. The Lion King song. Bear: Done by everybody's favorite knight, Elton John! Adam: Nice earring. Bear: Yeah and nice glasses, Elton. Adam: I still have not seen The Lion King. This song is one of the main reasons why. Bear: I did, but most of the movie is in this video. This was the wedding song for so many circus animals in the mid 90's. Adam: You went to circus animal weddings? Bear: Yeah. After all, I am a Bear. Adam: I didn't know you were the type of bear that balanced on big rubber balls and juggled. Bear: I'm the ring bear, punk. Adam: At least this was back when Disney had animators and didn't just rely on Pixar for everything. Bear: Speaking of which, what was their last animated movie to hit theatres? The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Adam: Was Happy Feet animated? Bear: Happy Feet was pretty not interesting. Adam: Man, is this guy still singing? Bear: I love how Elton John feels so moved singing this all while standing in front of animated lions. Maybe it is true what they say; Elton John can put a wild animal in check.