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Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
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From A to B 90’s Style – Episode 12
Friday, January 16, 2009

I know it’s been a while since the last installment of From A to B 90’s Style, but if From A to B 90's Style is what you've been waiting for this is your lucky day because your favorite dynamic duo are back! In this episode fellow superstar journalist Bear Frazer and I are taking a look at clips by Mariah Carey, Smashing Pumpkins, Alice Deejay and Soul Coughing. Enjoy!

Adam: Let's start with a true classic in every sense of the word.

Adam: Yeeeah, one of the best remixes EVER!
Bear: How incredible is this, an angelic girl out of a 90's movie singing in a park and then ODB going apeshit near a gated carnival fence.
Adam: Hey, that clown is tied up. I never noticed that before. Remember when Mariah was the finest chick in the game? I do.
Bear: Remember when she was so innocent in the “Dreamlover” video?
Adam: Heck yeah. Hey, look, rollerblades. Oh this isn't dated. Nice kneepads Mariah.
Bear: OMG! Clownie! I didn't know Slipknot was in this video!
Adam: Mariah, ODB and Slipknot... what a trio.
Bear: Notice everyone seems happy on the rollercoaster, except her. Perhaps that’s because she hasn’t seen Slipknot yet.
Adam: Damn she was fine, and damn Dirty was nuts. I remember being at a press conference with ODB and Mariah and lemme tell you Mariah is STUNNING in person
Bear: Is it me, or does she look thinner back then?
Adam: Thinner and less plastic surgery.
Bear: Yeah. You know Nick Cannon if wildin out over that marriage. Derek Jeter must be kicking himself.
Adam: Please, everyone knows he doesn't have that kind of range.

Bear: Time for some rock.

Adam: He's a zero, it says so on his shirt.
Bear: Like Vanilla Ice said in his movie, drop Billy Corgan and get with Batman.
Adam: What? Are you taking the film Cool as Ice in vein?
Bear: Umm... look, the Asian guitarist, Jimmy Iha!
Adam: You're not a rat in a cage, you're a band playing while everyone else works.
Bear: Dude, I didn't know they had electrical outlets on top of dirt hills.
Adam: This must be he acoustic version.
Bear: Notice how Billy Corgan looks less of an alien? It’s because of the hair. If you didn't notice, yes, he has hair. Mot much. Just enough.
Adam: This video is pretty meh.
Bear: Notice how it turned into Smashing Pumpkins featuring the mud people from Woodstock '94?
Adam: Yeah, and now they're gonna bury a guy alive. None of this has anything to do with the song.
Bear: It's taking way too many people to bury people alive. The Undertaker could do this during a commercial break. And out of no where is a fire hydrant
Adam: So the moral of the story is... water is good?
Bear: Yes.
Adam: Dude, what's with all the spitting? You're a rock singer, Billy, not a shortstop.
Bear: Perhaps instead of "Rats in a cage," it's "human trafficking on a dirt mountain?"

Adam: OK, no let's move to a song that reminds me of my last year in college.

Adam: I heard this song every night in every bar on Long Island during my senior year. It was some sorority’s theme and when they sang the hook I'd mutter "yes."
Bear: Evidently, that sorority must've housed pillheads.
Adam: He's waiting for Billy Corgan's army of muddy minions to help him out. Incidentally, tremendous use of widescreen.
Bear: Ha ha! It looks like Mr. and Mrs. Smith ripped this video off.
Adam: Yeah? Never saw it.
Bear: You should. Angelina Jolie is hot in it and Brad Pitt, well, he's funny.
Adam: This looks like the worst honeymoon ever.
Bear: Sand hills are very futuristic.
Adam: He's running up these sand hills like "no, I swear I parked my car right HERE!"
Bear: Dude fell! He’s like, "I'm tired of doing the running man in the desert." I would be, too.
Adam: Primal scream.
Bear: Seriously, this is a great commercial for Aiwa headphones. A little long, but cool nonetheless.
Adam: And apparently, because he went alone he died.

Bear: My last choice is a video I’ve never seen, but let’s do it.

Adam: Oh jeez, is this another Bear Frazer special I am sure to dislike? Yeah, looks to be.
Bear: Time for the Mighty Mighty Bosstones! Oh wait. Oh. It's Soul Coughing.
Adam: You're the only person I know who listened to college rock while in high school. BTW - that doesn't make you "advanced."
Bear: Notice dude is running around in a tunnel? That's not good. You breathe heavier when you run and you're supposed to hold your breath in a tunnel.
Adam: "What's our budget? Ah, let's just film it in a tunnel at a Chuck E. Cheese."
Bear: OK, he's walking upside down. That's just weird, just like the string falling from his Gap sweater. How does he not know the thread is being pulled, huh?
Adam: This song makes me think of hacky sacks and girls with hairy legs talking about how "free" they are.
Bear: He must not like his Gap sweater.
Adam: Someone call Weezer! This guy is jackin their ish!
Bear: That is Rivers Cuomo in ten years.

Previous Episodes

Episode 11
Episode 10
Episode 9


posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:39 AM  
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