Name: Adam Bernard Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome. See my complete profile
You had to know I wasn’t going to let the month end without a fresh episode of From A to B 90’s Style! November sees your two favorite superstar journalists, Adam B and Bear Frazer, taking a look at videos from Kriss Kross, Aerosmith, Vengaboys and Everclear. Enjoy!
Adam: I’m starting with an important lesson regarding timeliness.
Bear: That is one eerie clock. Adam: No wonder they missed the bus. Bear: And why is the bus in an abandoned desert? Adam: Cuz that’s how Kris Kross rolls. Bear: How did they miss the bus? Weren't they just on the bus? I'm confused. Adam: Maybe if they wore their pants the right way they'd catch the damned bus. And where’s Mista FAB, isn’t he the yellow bus driver? Bear: I don't know what's worse, the 80's graphics or the video concept. Adam: Why is everyone dead!? Bear: I remember when I missed the bus once. My mom had to drive me. Adam: According to this video if you miss the bus you end up in a unemployed man's LSD laced dream of Judge Mathis. Bear: At least Kriss Kross does. Adam: Wait, they sleep together? Bear: Perhaps. That isn't for me to speculate.
Bear: Now it’s time for some rock.
Bear: That’s weird. Adam: Bear, is this is fetish porn? Bear: I hope not. Adam: Oh I think it is. I bet that blonde girl shows up in it. Bear: Joe Perry doesn't mind. He doesn't change face. And that’s one weird fucking wedding. Adam: I concur. Bear: I wonder if Jay Z and Beyonce's was similar? Adam: No, but Heidi and Spencer’s was. Bear: That’s how it is in Los Angeles. Adam: If Jay's was anything like his concerts he just stood in one place the entire time. Bear: Finally, someone put Steven Tyler in a stray jacket. Adam: This is a terrible song. Bear: This is a good song, the video blows, though. Nothing sadder than a 60 year old man trying to be hip. Adam: This is Manson-lite, now with less Manson! Bear: See, Joe Perry doesn’t change face! Adam: Is that the ball from American Gladiators? Bear: I don’t know, but why’s he putting lard cream on that persons knees? Why not knee pads? I got my girlfriend some of those.
Adam: Let’s go from that strangeness to this strangeness.
Adam: Wait for the gay cowboy… there he is! Bear: This sounds eerily similar to the Wrestlemania song. Adam: This takes me back to my Hofstra barhopping days, and I like the closed captioning. Bear: The subtitles are a nice touch. Adam: Super hookers!!! Bear: This is one dirty girl. I like where her head is at. Adam: Could she be any more like Scary Spice? Bear: Well, her career isn't as good, clearly. Adam: Gay cowboy sighting. Bear: Dude, that gay cowboy has to stop acting like a jack in the box. Adam: Well, where would you like him to jack? Bear: Perhaps at someone's spare house in Wyoming. Adam: Those girls remind me of the hooker in Vegas. Bear: I like hookers. Adam: You can have the one in the cowboy hat. Bear: Look! It’s Ariel! Adam: This was from The Party Album, which is not to be confused with their Political Album.
Bear: Let’s close things out with a true 90’s classic.
Bear: Hello suburbia! Adam: I have similar hair to his. Bear: It looks like he is about to make out with that door hole. Adam: You said hole. Bear: I so did. Adam: That's a HUGE hole. Bear: Look how happy he is. Isn't he supposed to be upset? Adam: Why buy a garden? Just grow one. Bear: And why is he moving in with strange guys? This dude's weirder than Chris Crocker. And what’s so wrong with her old life? Adam: This video was done entirely in peephole vision. Bear: Ha ha, “handsome man with athletic thighs.” What man notices that? Maybe you’re the strange one, Art. Adam: Everyone knows if you want to woo a girl you need that accordion. Bear: Accordions are a necessity. Adam:And she could use a roof. Buy her a roof! Bear: Look at him, talking about a dude's athletic thighs, then he wants to stay the night with her. Dude is STRANGE! Adam: He has calf envy. Bear: I really don't understand this video.
B-Listers are a select group of artists that were featured in my Artist Of The Week series that ran every Monday from April of '06 to April of '11. All of these artists have two things in common; extreme talent, and a flight path far too under the radar for my liking. They took on the title of B-Listers as they embraced being featured by me, Adam B. Check out the AOTW Archives for all the interviews.