Name: Adam Bernard Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome. See my complete profile
Welcome to an all hard rockin edition of From A to B 90’s Style, your monthly look back at what made the 90’s music scene so special… and sometimes so awful. I am, of course, joined by my fellow superstar journalist Bear “F’in” Frazer as this month we take a look at videos by The Prodigy, Orgy, R.E.M. and Reef. Three cheers for incredibly short band names!
Adam: We start by rockin with the insane.
Bear: Nice! My favorite freaks... in electronica music, that is, and best of all they’re true Electro folks – they’re from England! Adam: Prodigy definitely made some of the sickest electronic music ever. Bear: Killer headbutt! Look at them... they really want someone to play a game with them. Maybe it's Dance Dance Revolution. Adam: Prodigy would FUCK UP DDR. Hmm, a black dude with crazy tats or a white guy with freaky hair and pierced everything... which one does the cop harass first? Bear: Obviously the black dude. Adam: True, we're talking about cops here Bear: Look at that crocodile. He seems very relaxed in such an intense setting. Adam: Cuz he's breathing. Bear: Perhaps that's also because Adam Sandler killed his brother instead of him Adam: These guys have some bug issues. Bear: I know. Haven't they ever heard of Raid? Adam: That hole in the wall isn't too good either. Bear: They must have some wicked magnet in the ceiling. Adam: Perhaps a MONSTER Magnet. Bear: Uh oh, the croc is angry! He must not like the magnet, or the scary black dude. Man, that black dude is insulting that cracker, calling him a psycho and insane. Adam: Well, he's right. All white people are insane. Bear: Yeah. All thanks to Macaulay Culkin giving us crackers a bad rep.
Bear: Here’s another personal fave I know we both like.
Adam: Ah, science class. Bear: I know, right? Enter Dexter's Lab. Adam: I liked Candyass, does that make me emo? Bear: Only if you like makeup and glitter. Adam: I own glitter, but only so I can throw it at you at inopportune times. Bear: Ha ha! These dudes love wax clothing. Hello 1984! Adam: How much for a band in a box? Bear: Look at all these computer screens and this white setting. I bet this influenced all Apple stores nationwide. Adam: Yeah, later I'm going to go have an iOrgy. Bear: Sweet. I’ve heard iOrgy's are awesome. Adam: They're the best. Bear: I bet that chick is invited. Adam: She'll get an evite. Bear: That's what happens when you break somebody's iHeart. You stitch it up with an iOrgy. Adam: So, how come this band is all dudes but they call themselves Orgy? Bear: Adam, some things are best left unanswered. Adam: I think I've figured out too much.
Adam: We stay rockin with my next pick.
Adam: this is some shoddy camera work. Bear: REM is the best band on earth. Why? Because they can make an awesome song and shoot an awesome video, with shoddy camerawork, for 30 bucks! Adam: Yeah, "let's just get together in the old warehouse and bring that flashing light." Bear: Watch out, Prodigy, Michael Stipe would mess you up in Dance Dance Revolution. Adam: Or perhaps Writhe Writhe Revolution Bear: True. I just can't decide what is cooler, he bright flashing lights or Michael Stipe's bald alien skull. Adam: I can see the reflection of the moon in it. Bear: Uh oh, killer guitar solo. It looks like he is giving himself open pelvis surgery. Adam: I've oftentimes envisioned Michael Stipe as Bonk. Bear:E.T.'s lost cousin. Adam:Sam Cassell's white brother Bear: Are they singing to a giant photo of an airplane? Evidently, not even they want to be there. Adam: Seriously, record label... it's called a budget! Oh man, I think I'm having a seizure. Bear: Look. This video gave you a seizure and it cost R.E.M. thirty bucks. Gnarls Barkely, on the other hand… Oh my God! It's me! Adam: ROTFL!!! Bear: I forgot, I was in this video! The lights must've made me forgot! Adam: Can I get my head out from in-between my legs yet?
Bear: You’ll hate me for this one.
Adam: Oh great, now you go and ruin my day with some fruity ass rock band. Bear: Hey, speaking of bands in a box… Adam: He sounds like he's having a large object inserted into his ass. Don't place your hands on his hole? WHAT? Bear: That's why he wants you to run his fingers... through his soul. Adam: Do you know these guys personally, because I can't imagine another reason you'd choose this video. Bear: Yeah, we chill with Georges St. Pierre regularly. I can't put my hands on, though. Evidently, I ran out of batteries. Adam: I bet this guy has Don West's old job selling baseball cards at 3am on cable. Bear: I think dude is having a seizure. Adam: …and his ass exploded in a watery burst. Bear: I wonder how many gallons of water they wasted shooting this video. Adam: My hands are on, damnit! Bear: What are they on? A bottle of Aquafina? Adam: Oh no, that's not water my friend!