About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
See my complete profile
Bios & Press Releases

Bios: $250-$300
Press Releases: $50

Check out samples here

For more info, or to set something up, email me

Artist Advice e-book

Muscle For Your Hustle What Every DIY Musician Needs to Know (2011)

A collection of 22 of my best artist advice articles

Pick it up for just $1

Photo Ops

w/ Beautiful Bodies ('15)


w/ Michael Imperioli ('14)


w/ Millionaires ('12)


w/ Adam Duritz, iLLspoKinN & Notar ('10)


w/ Kevin Pereira on the old set of
Attack of the Show ('09)

Magazine Articles

Rocko The Intern

July 2010 - January 2013
From A to B 90’s Style – Episode 6
Friday, June 20, 2008

Welcome to an all hard rockin edition of From A to B 90’s Style, your monthly look back at what made the 90’s music scene so special… and sometimes so awful. I am, of course, joined by my fellow superstar journalist Bear “F’in” Frazer as this month we take a look at videos by The Prodigy, Orgy, R.E.M. and Reef. Three cheers for incredibly short band names!

Adam: We start by rockin with the insane.


Bear: Nice! My favorite freaks... in electronica music, that is, and best of all they’re true Electro folks – they’re from England!
Adam: Prodigy definitely made some of the sickest electronic music ever.
Bear: Killer headbutt! Look at them... they really want someone to play a game with them. Maybe it's Dance Dance Revolution.
Adam: Prodigy would FUCK UP DDR. Hmm, a black dude with crazy tats or a white guy with freaky hair and pierced everything... which one does the cop harass first?
Bear: Obviously the black dude.
Adam: True, we're talking about cops here
Bear: Look at that crocodile. He seems very relaxed in such an intense setting.
Adam: Cuz he's breathing.
Bear: Perhaps that's also because Adam Sandler killed his brother instead of him
Adam: These guys have some bug issues.
Bear: I know. Haven't they ever heard of Raid?
Adam: That hole in the wall isn't too good either.
Bear: They must have some wicked magnet in the ceiling.
Adam: Perhaps a MONSTER Magnet.
Bear: Uh oh, the croc is angry! He must not like the magnet, or the scary black dude. Man, that black dude is insulting that cracker, calling him a psycho and insane.
Adam: Well, he's right. All white people are insane.
Bear: Yeah. All thanks to Macaulay Culkin giving us crackers a bad rep.

Bear: Here’s another personal fave I know we both like.


Adam: Ah, science class.
Bear: I know, right? Enter Dexter's Lab.
Adam: I liked Candyass, does that make me emo?
Bear: Only if you like makeup and glitter.
Adam: I own glitter, but only so I can throw it at you at inopportune times.
Bear: Ha ha! These dudes love wax clothing. Hello 1984!
Adam: How much for a band in a box?
Bear: Look at all these computer screens and this white setting. I bet this influenced all Apple stores nationwide.
Adam: Yeah, later I'm going to go have an iOrgy.
Bear: Sweet. I’ve heard iOrgy's are awesome.
Adam: They're the best.
Bear: I bet that chick is invited.
Adam: She'll get an evite.
Bear: That's what happens when you break somebody's iHeart. You stitch it up with an iOrgy.
Adam: So, how come this band is all dudes but they call themselves Orgy?
Bear: Adam, some things are best left unanswered.
Adam: I think I've figured out too much.

Adam: We stay rockin with my next pick.


Adam: this is some shoddy camera work.
Bear: REM is the best band on earth. Why? Because they can make an awesome song and shoot an awesome video, with shoddy camerawork, for 30 bucks!
Adam: Yeah, "let's just get together in the old warehouse and bring that flashing light."
Bear: Watch out, Prodigy, Michael Stipe would mess you up in Dance Dance Revolution.
Adam: Or perhaps Writhe Writhe Revolution
Bear: True. I just can't decide what is cooler, he bright flashing lights or Michael Stipe's bald alien skull.
Adam: I can see the reflection of the moon in it.
Bear: Uh oh, killer guitar solo. It looks like he is giving himself open pelvis surgery.
Adam: I've oftentimes envisioned Michael Stipe as Bonk.
Bear: E.T.'s lost cousin.
Adam: Sam Cassell's white brother
Bear: Are they singing to a giant photo of an airplane? Evidently, not even they want to be there.
Adam: Seriously, record label... it's called a budget! Oh man, I think I'm having a seizure.
Bear: Look. This video gave you a seizure and it cost R.E.M. thirty bucks. Gnarls Barkely, on the other hand… Oh my God! It's me!
Adam: ROTFL!!!
Bear: I forgot, I was in this video! The lights must've made me forgot!
Adam: Can I get my head out from in-between my legs yet?

Bear: You’ll hate me for this one.


Adam: Oh great, now you go and ruin my day with some fruity ass rock band.
Bear: Hey, speaking of bands in a box…
Adam: He sounds like he's having a large object inserted into his ass. Don't place your hands on his hole? WHAT?
Bear: That's why he wants you to run his fingers... through his soul.
Adam: Do you know these guys personally, because I can't imagine another reason you'd choose this video.
Bear: Yeah, we chill with Georges St. Pierre regularly. I can't put my hands on, though. Evidently, I ran out of batteries.
Adam: I bet this guy has Don West's old job selling baseball cards at 3am on cable.
Bear: I think dude is having a seizure.
Adam: …and his ass exploded in a watery burst.
Bear: I wonder how many gallons of water they wasted shooting this video.
Adam: My hands are on, damnit!
Bear: What are they on? A bottle of Aquafina?
Adam: Oh no, that's not water my friend!

Previous Episodes

Episode 5
Episode 4
Episode 3

Labels:

posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:46 AM  
1 Comments:
  • At 3:54 PM, Blogger Crew54 said…

    ohh shit yall are wrong for the Sam Cassell comment, even though we've been calling him an Alien Baby for years now.

     
Post a Comment
<< Home
 
Follow

Email List

Popular Columns

The Struggles Foreign Artists Face in the US, & How to Overcome Them


Ten Secrets for Making a Show a Success Despite a Low Turnout


What Happens to an Artist When Their Record Label Folds

Latest Podcast

The Drunk Train #9
feat. Lucy Camp
& Toussaint Morrison
Stand-Up Comedy

My set from Soce's
First-Timer's Show (April '14)
B-Lister Nation
B-Listers are a select group of artists that were featured in my Artist Of The Week series that ran every Monday from April of '06 to April of '11. All of these artists have two things in common; extreme talent, and a flight path far too under the radar for my liking. They took on the title of B-Listers as they embraced being featured by me, Adam B. Check out the AOTW Archives for all the interviews.

Friends of Adam’s World
60 Second Review
Adam John | Kid Kryptic
Always Home and Uncool
AngryMarks
Backpack Cat
Claudia Alick
Definitely Amazing
Gangstarr Girl
Fly Like Dove
FreeHipHopNow
Halo Doesn’t Suck
I Are Conscious
iHeartDilla
Jesse Abraham
Joey K’s Place
Jus Rhyme
Ken Morico
Life of a Rockstar
MC Larny Rocks
Nappy Diatribe
Nobody Beats The Liz
Paul Gargano
Pay Us No Mind
Popular Opinions
Ramblings of the BK GrrlGenius
RapDirt
RapReviews
Sleep Dirt
Speech Is My Hammer
Stamford Talk
The 54 Reality Show
The BillaBlog
The Race to Nowhere
xo Publicity

Member Of

BLOGGER

Wikio - Top Blogs - Music

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

    Older Posts                 Newer Posts