Name: Adam Bernard Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome. See my complete profile
What do George Michael, John Mellencamp, Geggy Tah and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones all have in common (other than being in this sentence)? They’re all featured in this month’s episode of From A to B 90’s Style, everyone’s favorite co-blog by superstar journalists Adam Bernard (hey, that’s me!) and Bear Frazer. Enjoy!
Adam: I’m starting us off with one of my top ten videos of all-time.
Adam: Hot models, great tunes and things blowing up, the true recipe for success. Bear: Hey, who is lip synching... it's George Michael! No, wait, it’s Jordan Knight. Adam: Ha ha! Bear: Dancing in puddles? Ewww! And that hot chick has such a manly man's voice. Adam: You'd still hit it and so would I. "You know honey, you sound an awful lot like George Michael." Bear: Whoa, what's going on? A wedding dress? Is Jordan Knight getting married? Adam: Man, the Faith jacket!!! Noooo! Bear: That dude is so lazy. Maybe he'd be more comfortable with some Lays chips. The fatty ones. Adam: He's singing in Abu Ghraib hanging down like that. Bear: Working off those chips, I suppose. Actually, he's just swinging. Not even using the machine for its purpose. Adam: Gotta love the naked Cindy Crawford scene. Then BOOM! Bear: Whoa! Destruction. If anything represents freedom it's fire and something breaking. Adam: I forgot all about that kinky blood scene. Bear: Who smokes while lying in bed? C'mon! That's how fires start... and freedom.
Bear: Alright, here’s my first pick.
Adam: OK, I see a theme, videos with hot models. No complaints here, my friend. Bear: Male collaborative efforts are always awesome, too. Adam: Hey, you lay off Meshell! Bear: My bad. Adam: Fast fact, I saw her live a few years ago, she was amazing. Then there was a wet t-shirt contest in the bar I went to. It was awesome. Bear: But she sounds more of a man than you do. Adam: That's cuz I've been busy workin on bringing sexy back. Bear: That dude tried eating a high heel. You won't find that on Bizarre Foods. Adam: No disrespect to my boy MC Mars, but have you ever seen a cab driver that hot? Bear: Most cab drivers I know look like either Frank Sinatra or DJ Drama. And who lets dogs into their taxi? Adam: The Baha Men? Bear: Oh, that chick is out of her old school cab. It’s time to transform into a night walker. Adam: Half cab driver, half vampire! Bear: Watch out for Blade!
Adam: Now let’s vibe on a little common courtesy with Geggy Tah.
Bear: I thought this was supposed to be a music video, not a driver's education tally. Adam: I just thought you should know the rules of the road Bear Frazer. Bear: Is that Chris Jericho? Is this Fozzy? Adam: Driving while playing guitar is NOT safe. Bear: I know. Drunk driving may be better. You'll only spill your beer that way. Adam: Whoa, that dog was driving. Bear: Now's that's gangsta! Man, that dog is a pretty good driver. Adam: Amazing. Bear: Dude, two hands on the wheel. TWO HANDS! Adam: Or two paws. I want that keyboard setup in my ride. Bear: Man, who else aside from Dallas Austin has that? Adam: Where'd he get a horn from? Bear: I guess he has all those instruments because his radio is broke. Adam: We need more songs about the rules of the road. Bear: We really do. Adam: Oooooh snap! Bear: Friends don't let friends drive drunk… they let sober puppy dogs do the driving. Adam: Adam B says safe driving begins by getting the heck outta my way!
Bear: And finally, a song you will never get out of your head.
Bear: My favorite Gap commercial!!! Adam: One hit wonder with a HUGE following. Bear: These dudes are talented, though. Perhaps they would've been bigger if they ironed their clothes. Adam: A gangsta ska band. Bear: They are gangsta. They dance better than B2K. Adam: He's so angry. Bear: I know. This must've been some form of retaliation to the Gap. Some people get angry when the Gap shuns them. Man, the color is all distorted. I guess they didn't cover the production costs. Adam: They forgot to white balance. Bear: Where's the ground!?!? Look at them fly, or do whatever it is they do. Adam: Is this the rehearsal before they eventually bring in props and stuff? Bear: Oh my God, it's raining confetti, not men, and look, they're happy now. Talk about a 360. Adam: Just knock on wood already, damnit! Bear: They should've knocked on wood sooner. Perhaps they could've gotten a cleaner screen or something. Adam: For realizes.