About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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From A to B 90’s Style – Episode 15
Friday, August 07, 2009

I know, it’s been a long while since the last episode of From A to B and you were all probably wondering where we’d wandered off to. Well, fellow superstar journalist Bear Frazer and I were actually hard at work in the lab making some adjustments to the column. We got out the power drills, hacksaws and acetylene torches to make a number of improvements to From A to B and this week we’re finally ready to unleash our revamped creation to the world! For this triumphant return we’re providing our unique brand of commentary on clips from Blackstreet feat. Mya, Mase & Blinky Blink, En Vogue and Silkk The Shocker feat. Mystikal. Just hit play and enjoy!

Blackstreet w/ Mya, Mase & Blinky Blink – Take Me There

Bear: It's Tommy Pickles!
Adam: And more importantly, Mya, who is an uber hottie.
Bear: I wanna dance with her on that xylophone.
Adam: Big ups to Teddy Riley for showing off his ability to spell Rugrats... sloooowly.
Bear: Cause you're never too old to learn how to read.
Adam: Hey Mya, nice crib.
Bear: I wonder if that'll ever be featured on MTV's Cribs, cuz let's face it, it's a pretty big crib.
Adam: Cribs, the cribs edition.
Bear: Why does this sound similar to "Faith" by George Michael?
Adam: Because you're high.
Bear: No, it's like they borrow the whole style of the pre-chorus.
Adam: I love that this song was made back when labels threw money around like crazy. “Mya, Blackstreet and Mase all on the same track for a kids movie? Sure, budget is of no concern, this money will last forever!”
Bear: This house is huge. Does Big Show vacation there?
Adam: I wonder how many seven year olds this influenced to buy Mase's Double Up album.
Bear: Mase is such a bad bad boy, like Angelica.
Adam: Hey, it's "Blinky Blink on the back of the Raptor wagon babblin about nothin."
Bear: I never knew Rugrats was so Hip-Hop.
Adam: The Rugrats ARE Hip-Hop choreography! And check it out, Mya’s been around the block a few times. Ha ha!
Bear: Ha! And who ever said Nickelodeon wasn't cool?
Adam: Drake?

En Vogue – Free Your Mind

Bear: I used to sing this to my prom date all the time. No wonder I never got a prom night kiss.
Adam: She was probably a racist.
Bear: I'm sure she was. I like this angry runway show. This is the baddest En Vogue video ever.
Adam: I don't know whether to be horny or scared.
Bear: I'm horny scared right now.
Adam: Someone should let them know my mind isn't what I'm looking to free right now, if you know what I mean.
Bear: Boy, don’t I wish I was a photographer at this video shoot.
Adam: You can take pictures. I'll be the guy helping them out of those outfits.
Bear: Just think, this was 1992, 18 years ago, and I bet they're still hot.
Adam: You're really bad at math.
Bear: That's why I was a communications major. This video was so gangster that is spawned artists like 50 Cent.
Adam: They created a new style - runway gangster.
Bear: Ralph Lauren, Marc Ecko, eat yer heart out. And this is mad hard on the rock side. R&B groups never go into that territory, at least not nowadays.
Adam: Oh it's mad hard alright. Huhuhuhuhuh.
Bear: Adam, I don't need to know about that.
Adam: AAAAAH! Scary monkey! Scary monkey!
Bear: Well I guess that answers the horny or scared question you had earlier.

Silkk The Shocker w/ Mystikal – It Ain’t My Fault

Bear: Oh shoot, it's almost midnight. Where are your children?
Adam: Ironically, this video predicted something for Mystikal.
Bear: The end of his career, or becoming obese?
Adam: His jail time.
Bear: Ghetto Express? I need that instead of my visa!
Adam: Don’t make him peel your potato!
Bear: I love the electric shocks the dudes get, they’re so cheesy.
Adam: Just like a No Limit album cover.
Bear: It looks more like a toaster.
Adam: BATTLEDOME! Where's John Cena?
Bear: These guys sound angry. They need an Attitude Adjustment!
Adam: Hey Silkk, it's called the beat, FIND IT!
Bear: How are these guys still alive in this video?
Adam: Cuz they're No Limit soldiers. They don’t die.
Bear: This electric toast machine sucks! No wonder lethal injection is the method of choice nowadays.
Adam: What's up with these hot chicks watching?
Bear: Baby mamas?
Adam: Mystikal is still one of the greatest rappers ever… third grade music video CGI effects not withstanding. Wait, WTF just happened there?
Bear: Ha ha ha! No clue.
Adam: For real, they were being executed and it ended in a party.
Bear: Maybe it symbolizes partying in the after life.

Previous Episodes

Episode 14
Episode 13
Episode 12


posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:41 AM  
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