Name: Adam Bernard Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States About Me: Entertainment journalist with 20 years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, and B-movies. Part time ninja. Kicked cancer’s ass. My memoir, ChemBro, is out now!
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Ever since the coronavirus temporarily forced everyone to be homebodies, those of us who are single have been dealing with a unique conundrum – how do we meet new people, go on dates, and potentially find love, when all the places where we’d normally do these things are closed?
Much like many jobs suddenly went virtual, us single folks have taken to apps like Zoom, and Skype, to go on virtual dates with the people we’re connecting with on online dating sites.
Having gone on a number of virtual dates, I can tell you the best, and worst, aspect of them, and you might be surprised to find out it’s actually the same thing.
I think you already know what the worst aspect of a virtual date is – sex is off the table.
Sex being off the table, however, is also the best aspect of a virtual date.
This may take a little explaining, because I know for a lot of folks, knowing that a date will end Lil Zane style – you ain’t gettin’ none tonight – makes them far less interested in the proceedings.
With sex being off the table, a lot of things change about a date. When we’re having a traditional, in-person date, at least some of what we do involves feeling each other out to see if we want to go further physically. Should I make the next move? Will we kiss? Will we go back to one of our places for a nightcap?
None of those questions exist on a virtual date, and in a way this takes a lot of pressure off both parties, and makes things a bit more honest.
Whether we like to admit it or not, we often change, personality-wise, when there’s a possibility of sex, because that possibility becomes something one, or both parties then work towards, ignoring many other aspects of the date.
On a virtual date, you know nothing physical is going to happen, so it’s two people spending time actually getting to know each other. If you spend two hours talking, it’s because you enjoy each other’s company, and likely have some common interests.
A virtual date is all about wanting to get to know someone, rather than simply wanting to get with them. This doesn’t mean you’ve instantly friend-zoned each other – as long as you both plan on meeting in person once the pandemic is quelled and traditional social interaction resumes, the chance for chemistry is still there. It’s just that now you’ll potentially have a solid foundation on which you can build something real.
Did I say chemistry? Clearly, I meant calculus.
At some point in the near future, bars will be bustling again, concert venues will be packed, and coffee shops will be back to life. Until then, however, all we have are virtual dates, so let’s embrace the positive aspect of them, and really get to know who we think we might be interested in.