Album Cover Fail - Woodie

I know we’ve all been taught not to judge a book by its cover, but how about just judging the cover? Today I’m going to start doing just that, only instead of books it will be with CDs. First up to bat is Woodie’s Demonz N My Sleep (see the full size image here).

Note: This is not a reflection of the content of the album, or the skills of the artist, it is SOLELY about the album's cover art.

* With all due respect to Woodie’s gangster, he was not given the looks of a thug. He was, instead, given the looks of a high school physics teacher, and no matter how hard Mr. Pacelli’s class was back at Prep, I never thought I was ever in any danger of having him pop a cap in my ass.

* Woodie’s death stare is classic as it screams “I’m angry at my class for doing poorly on their midterm!”

* The man has a porn stache, which is actually quite fitting considering his (hopefully) unintentionally pornographic name.

* Somebody in Woodie’s camp must have believed that gardening was going to be the next great gangster pastime since Woodie is donning what look to be gardening gloves. I’ve never really considered gardening gloves menacing, but then again I’m not a patch of dandelions in the middle of someone’s basil. Perhaps the “demonz” in Woodie’s sleep are really just nightmares about bugs on his azaleas.

* Thanks to the gloves his wristwatch has been pushed further up his arm so as not to be covered. Woodie probably isn’t interested in knowing when it’s Hammer time, but he definitely wants to know when it’s time to use more Miracle-Gro.

* What’s the deal with the 14 on his belt buckle that shows up in the center of the second O in Woodie? What does it mean? Is it a mystical number? Is it meant to show he’s a big fan of Pete Rose? Or is it simply there to distract me from the fact that he’s a rapper that shares a name with a cartoon woodpecker?

* Crude photoshop jobs have been a staple of hip-hop cover art since the mid-90’s thanks to every crew having at least one guy who thinks they’re a graphic designer simply because they’re the only one on their block with a graphic design program. The sloppily added guns at the bottom of Demonz N My Sleep are actually a double dose of awful because not only do they look terrible, but they have nothing to do with the rest of the album cover! Something tells me the meetings regarding the guns went a little something like this; “Woodie doesn’t look gangster enough, let’s add some guns.” “You mean do a new photo shoot?” “Nah, just go to the clipart folder that came with the program and add em in somewhere, anywhere will do.”

To be totally fair to Woodie, it should be noted that when Demonz N My Sleep was re-pressed he changed the cover art to something significantly better, but this original version will always be a classic piece of Album Cover Fail.