How Hip-Hop Has Changed My “Type”

I have never wanted to admit I have a “type” when it comes to women (and fellas, you’re welcome for the gratuitous picture of Vida Guerra, a woman who is everybody’s type). I’ve always thought that was pretty weak, especially since I’ve been attracted to women of every ethnicity and background. Apparently I have a “type,” though, and the other day I realized Hip-Hop has had a great influence in molding it. The influence, however, isn’t necessarily in a way one might assume.

When conversing with a female friend of mine, an exceptionally gorgeous one I might add, she revealed to me that she really digs Lil’ Wayne’s new music. I thought about that for a minute and replied back that that was a deal breaker for me. I can’t be with a girl who likes Lil’ Wayne, at least not 2008 Lil’ Wayne. She backed off a bit, knocking him down a few notches to “guilty pleasure,” but the effect of jarring my thought process had already taken place. I had come to an epiphany - I can’t date a girl who likes wack rappers.

I told this girl, who I’m still very good friends with, that I’d introduced her to rappers better than Lil’ Wayne (true story). I think that this is where my issue with girls who like wack rappers comes to a head; I never want to take a girl to a show, introduce her to a really dope rapper, and have her leave saying “yeah, he’s good, but he’s no Lil’ Wayne,” (or insert the name of whoever the current rapper du jour is depending on when, or where, you are reading this). Most of the rappers I love are my friends and I can’t handle someone saying they’d rather listen to someone I consider to be totally awful. This isn’t like sports, where there can be a friendly rivalry. I can handle watching a team I dislike because I can root against them. I can’t handle listening to artists I dislike because I feel like every person who hears their music playing isn’t being introduced to someone far better.

I should have seen this coming. Back in college I had a very cute girl living next door to me my senior year (99-00). Unfortunately, all she did was listen to Jay-Z, and not even the good Jay-Z songs, just his booty club hits. It drove me insane. I never wanted to hear the phrase “12AM on the way to the club” in the first place, but to hear it ad nauseum for three months straight was enough to drive me insane, and this was even before I was super ingrained in the underground scene. So even back then I guess I knew I couldn’t date a girl who liked wack rappers (sorry, Jigga becomes wack when you hear him 24/7 and can pick out all of his stolen lyrics).

The easy response to this is, OK, kwityerbitchin and find a girl who likes what you consider good rap music. Probably pretty good advice (thanks, voice in my head!), but where can I find such a woman? I don’t fit into just one category, so even though I dislike a lot of mainstream artists, if I were to date a backpacker there would still be far too many fights over music because, sadly, backpackers are just as averse to mainstream music and mainstream fans are to the underground, and although I dislike a lot of the mainstream I don’t dislike all of it.

With all of this going through my mind I came to what may, or may not, be a reasonable conclusion - I think I need to find a girl who doesn’t know anything about Hip-Hop, or at least one who doesn’t have any hardcore allegiances to any artists in particular. This would make life much easier as I can handle someone saying they’re not a fan of an artist I introduce them to as long as they don’t follow it up by saying they prefer someone else of the same genre more. So, with apologies to all the slammin b-girls of the world (who I still have plenty of love for), at this point in life I think I’d rather be with someone I’m introducing to Hip-Hop than someone who has their top ten rap albums of all-time already all picked out.