Pop Shots - Are You New Here?

Welcome to your weekly dose of pop world musings. Covering all things pop culture, this week Pop Shots is hitting you with thoughts on everything from Justin Bieber’s new ink, to Justin Timberlake’s new bride, to the new cast of Celebrity Apprentice, and since it’s Pop Shots you know everything is seasoned with a little bit of attitude.

* Justin Bieber has some new ink. The 17 year old showed off his freshly dried tattoo of Jesus while frolicking on the beach in Venice Beach, CA, this past week. When reached for comment Jesus said “it’s not the first time I’ve been placed on something painful.”

* Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got engaged over the holidays. Justin reportedly popped the question in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. If they decide to get married there their options for clergy include multiple ski bums and a moose who was ordained on the internet.

* Beyonce & Jay-Z finally had their kid. My only hope regarding this is that BET runs a 13 episode series on their search for a nanny. You know it has to be in the works.

* Jason Derulo, he of always saying his name at the start of his songs, is going to be sidelined for a while after suffering a severe injury while rehearsing a dance move. The botched move resulted in him landing directly on his head, causing him to suffer an acute fracture of his vertebra, and a complete cancellation of his upcoming tour. Pop Shots sends get well wishes to Derulo, and a note of advice - next time don’t hire a Mexican luchador as your choreographer!

* Van Halen has made the announcement that they're back together and going on tour again. Pop Shots Prediction: they'll perform "Jump" once, everyone in the band, and audience, will break a hip, and the tour will be over.

* Chris Brown has finally decided on a new tactic for trying to get people to like him again - not talking. According to his manager, Tina Davis, Brown will no longer be doing interviews and will not talk about his personal life. I’m all for never hearing from Chris Brown again, but what was a little disturbing about Davis’ full interview on the topic with The Hollywood Reporter is that she described Brown as “the same talented guy who's 22 and has a little more edge.” “A little more edge?” So that’s what we’re calling beating Rihanna now? The fact that a woman said this is just plain sad.

* Nick Cannon’s kidneys were Wild ‘N Out this past week as he had to be admitted to a hospital for mild kidney failure. His wife, Mariah Carey, took this opportunity to take a very awkward picture with Nick in his hospital bed and send it out to the world to see, cuz nothin says “love” like using your husband’s illness for a photo op.

* In news no one expected, more people bought albums in 2011 than they did in 2010. Total album sales grew by 1.4 percent, boosted by more actual good music being released. Oh, sure, there are more stats (vinyl going from 2.8 mil in sales to 3.9 mil!), and there’s more rhetoric about those stats, but when you get right down to it, people bought more music this year because better singers, like Adele, released albums.

* Tweet of the Week: @bearfrazer Dear Yahoo. I seriously don't care about Kim K's new hairstyle or your bogus newsworthy priorities. Your BFF.

* The cast of the next Celerity Apprentice has been announced and there are some great reasons to watch. Penn Jillette and Debbie Gibson are both going to be there and are probably at an unfair advantage, what with Penn being able to use magic and Gibson knowing how to defeat giant mutant creatures. Dee Snider, Lisa Lampanelli, George Takei and Adam Carolla are a few more of my personal faves that are involved this year. The real reason I’ll be tuning in, however, is I want to see if everything Tia Carrere does is accompanied by Gary Wright’s 1975 classic “Dream Weaver.”


And with that, my time is up for the week, but I'll be back next week with more shots on all things pop.