Pop Shots - Body Issues

Welcome to your weekly dose of pop world musings. Covering all things pop culture, this week Pop Shots is hitting you with thoughts on everything from Jessica Simpson’s bulging belly, to Steven Tyler’s bruised face, to Melissa Joan Hart getting her ass taken to court, and since it’s Pop Shots you know everything is seasoned with a little bit of attitude.

* Celebs love to cash in on pregnancy news and baby photos, and Jessica Simpson is no different. Unfortunately, nobody told Jessica that pregnancies begin to show after a few months, and right now her midsection resembles that of King Hippo from Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Realizing she'd run out of time to sell the story to a magazine, because she’s either pregnant, or she’s a snake digesting a tetherball, she finally told the news her pregnancy free of charge. Of course, had it been the snake thing, that would be a headline worth paying for.

* Kim Kardashian's marriage, for which she ended up raking in the handsome sum of nearly $20 million, ended after just 72 days. For those keeping score this means Kris Humphries is now locked out of both the NBA and his house, and the Kardashians are still the devil incarnate.

* Taylor Swift and her team are contemplating legal action against a gossip site for posting a topless photo of a girl and claiming it's her. The claim is laughable since the girl looks about as much like Taylor Swift as I do (*slight exaggeration*), so maybe next they'll post a picture of a construction worker eating a ham sandwich and claim it's Minka Kelly.

* Steven Tyler of Aerosmith and, more recently, American Idol fame looked very worse for wear after an incident last week that left him with broken teeth and a black eye. For many young rockers these wounds would have come from a bar brawl, or crazy fight with fellow band members. Tyler, however, is 63, and, like many 63 year olds, he fell in the shower. This is why so many rock stars die young, they don’t want to end up the face of non-slip bathtub mats.

* Someone needs to let U2 know that we’re in an economic recession. The legendary band is celebrating the 20th anniversary of their Achtung Baby album and in honor of it they’ve put together some special, very expensive, reissues. Released this week, the reissues include an Uber Deluxe Edition that has six CDs including B-sides and unreleased songs, a pair of Bono’s signature sunglasses, DVDs featuring the U2 documentary From the Sky Down, five clear 7’’ vinyl singles in their original sleeves, 16 art prints taken from the original album sleeve, and an 84-page hardback book. That’s all for the low low price of $469.95. If that’s too much for you, the Super Deluxe Edition is $167.95, comes with six CDs, four DVDs, plus a 92-page hardback book and 16 art prints. Still too pricey? Other options include a vinyl box set with four LPs, a deluxe edition featuring reissued B-sides and rarites, and a single disc reissue. Of course, if you’re a U2 fan you probably already have Achtung Baby, so your best option may be putting your already bought copy of the album into your CD player and enjoying it.

* Beavis and Butt-Head, after a 14 year hiatus, finally made their way back into our homes and they did so with a bang. On a night where they faced still competition from an extremely memorable game six of the World Series, and college football, everyone’s favorite twosome scored 3.3 million viewers. The show picked up right where it left off, with biting cultural commentary and, well, biting homeless people. The only major changes are that the boys are now watching more than just music videos and now there are cable and DVD boxes on top of their TV set. What might be most interesting to music fans are the videos the duo now critiquing. I can’t recall ever seeing MGMT or Skrillex on MTV before. Leave it to B&B to put the M back into MTV.

* Speaking of returning favorites, In Living Color is coming back to Fox for two half hour specials that will be produced by Keenen Ivory Wayans with the possibility of it being picked up as a series. The specials will feature a new cast of up and coming talent, and hopefully a fly girl that will go on to a mind boggling amount of success despite being mediocre in every conceivable way.

* India is a country of great food and, apparently, some really intense metal fans. Metallica found this out when they went to India last week to perform for the very first time there, but ended up not hitting the stage due to “technical difficulties.” Ticket refunds were offered, but some of the gathered crowd of 25,000 didn’t care, they rioted. With this in mind, Metallica should consider booking more shows in India. No crowd in America has been that into them since the black album.

* Since it was Halloween on Monday, I’m going to close this edition of Pop Shots with news on a witch. Melissa Joan Hart, best known for being Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, is being sued by a former manager for breach of oral contract, fraud and unjust enrichment, among other alleged infractions. What’s Melissa Joan Hart’s life looking like now that she has to deal with this? In a word, “Crazy.”


And with that, my time is up for the week, but I'll be back next week with more shots on all things pop.