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Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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How Hip-Hop Has Changed My “Type”
Friday, October 03, 2008

I have never wanted to admit I have a “type” when it comes to women (and fellas, you’re welcome for the gratuitous picture of Vida Guerra, a woman who is everybody’s type). I’ve always thought that was pretty weak, especially since I’ve been attracted to women of every ethnicity and background. Apparently I have a “type,” though, and the other day I realized Hip-Hop has had a great influence in molding it. The influence, however, isn’t necessarily in a way one might assume.

When conversing with a female friend of mine, an exceptionally gorgeous one I might add, she revealed to me that she really digs Lil’ Wayne’s new music. I thought about that for a minute and replied back that that was a deal breaker for me. I can’t be with a girl who likes Lil’ Wayne, at least not 2008 Lil’ Wayne. She backed off a bit, knocking him down a few notches to “guilty pleasure,” but the effect of jarring my thought process had already taken place. I had come to an epiphany - I can’t date a girl who likes wack rappers.

I told this girl, who I’m still very good friends with, that I’d introduced her to rappers better than Lil’ Wayne (true story). I think that this is where my issue with girls who like wack rappers comes to a head; I never want to take a girl to a show, introduce her to a really dope rapper, and have her leave saying “yeah, he’s good, but he’s no Lil’ Wayne,” (or insert the name of whoever the current rapper du jour is depending on when, or where, you are reading this). Most of the rappers I love are my friends and I can’t handle someone saying they’d rather listen to someone I consider to be totally awful. This isn’t like sports, where there can be a friendly rivalry. I can handle watching a team I dislike because I can root against them. I can’t handle listening to artists I dislike because I feel like every person who hears their music playing isn’t being introduced to someone far better.

I should have seen this coming. Back in college I had a very cute girl living next door to me my senior year (99-00). Unfortunately, all she did was listen to Jay-Z, and not even the good Jay-Z songs, just his booty club hits. It drove me insane. I never wanted to hear the phrase “12AM on the way to the club” in the first place, but to hear it ad nauseum for three months straight was enough to drive me insane, and this was even before I was super ingrained in the underground scene. So even back then I guess I knew I couldn’t date a girl who liked wack rappers (sorry, Jigga becomes wack when you hear him 24/7 and can pick out all of his stolen lyrics).

The easy response to this is, OK, kwityerbitchin and find a girl who likes what you consider good rap music. Probably pretty good advice (thanks, voice in my head!), but where can I find such a woman? I don’t fit into just one category, so even though I dislike a lot of mainstream artists, if I were to date a backpacker there would still be far too many fights over music because, sadly, backpackers are just as averse to mainstream music and mainstream fans are to the underground, and although I dislike a lot of the mainstream I don’t dislike all of it.

With all of this going through my mind I came to what may, or may not, be a reasonable conclusion - I think I need to find a girl who doesn’t know anything about Hip-Hop, or at least one who doesn’t have any hardcore allegiances to any artists in particular. This would make life much easier as I can handle someone saying they’re not a fan of an artist I introduce them to as long as they don’t follow it up by saying they prefer someone else of the same genre more. So, with apologies to all the slammin b-girls of the world (who I still have plenty of love for), at this point in life I think I’d rather be with someone I’m introducing to Hip-Hop than someone who has their top ten rap albums of all-time already all picked out.

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posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:32 AM  
  • At 9:13 AM, Blogger Manager Mom said…

    I feel the same way about musical preferences being an important signal about what someone might be like as a person. I almost didn't marry my husband because of his fondness for Steely Dan.

    As for finding women who haven't been exposed to rap or hip hop, might I suggest the Warren Jeffs Texas cult? Or perhaps a trip to your local Reniassance Fair? Other than that, I think you're going to have a tough time.

  • At 9:32 AM, Blogger Hex said…

    Oh man, the Lil' Wayne thing is like a fungus -- I feel your pain on that one.

    I also have a suggestion if you're looking for women who havent' been overly exposed to rap or hip hop -- the girl who thinks she likes heavy metal but actually just likes guys with long hair.

    ps - can we just take a moment here to collectively pray that Vida Guerra doesn't like Lil' Wayne too..

  • At 10:51 AM, Blogger Adam Bernard said…

    MM - For some reason I don't see myself attending a Renaissance Fair anytime soon.

    Hex - Sounds like I should dig up an old Motley Crue wig.

    Oh and if Vida likes Wayne... I don't even want to consider that possibility.

  • At 1:36 PM, Blogger angela said…

    hi its rue aka " the friend that likes lil wayne" .. i'm not ashamed of liking him and ill say it loud because he's not the only one i like and in a pool of amazing great rapper/artists i'm allowed one that Adam disapproves of (if thats even a word). I will agree with Adam, IF I were dating I counldnt deal with hearing someone i dont like on repeat. Fortunately for me every guy i've dated has always introduced me to great music i didnt know about or hadnt learned to appreciate because i didnt know OF them... exp. Allison Krauss and Union Station, Ben Harper, Taj Mahal and other blue grass ( my highschool bf)... I feel like you can always learn from the people in your life, especially when it comes to music : ).. with that open your minds and massage your ears cuz i dont think wayne's going anywhere anytime soon.

  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Adam Bernard said…

    Angela said: "every guy i've dated has always introduced me to great music i didnt know about or hadnt learned to appreciate because i didnt know OF them..."

    I dunno, sounds like someone wants to date me to get to Homeboy Sandman. ;)

  • At 2:08 PM, Blogger angela said…

    I also saif "IF" i were dating.....whos homeboy sandman enlighten me please

  • At 2:27 PM, Blogger Adam Bernard said…

    I guess you'll just have to take your copy of Tha Carter III out of rotation and date me to find out.

    Nah, I can't withhold info about a friend.




  • At 9:22 PM, Blogger bp said…

    Ha ha hilarious and so true. I guess I'm lucky that my girlfriend didn't listen to much hip hop growing up - she was a die-hard Pink Floyd fan. That definitely made it easier to introduce her to some good hip hop not played on TV. I hope you find a woman who is open-minded and appreciates good music.

  • At 10:33 PM, Blogger Adam Bernard said…

    Thanks, man. The search continues!

  • At 12:36 AM, Blogger Homeboy Sandman said…

    using my gift to lure the ladies into your chamber are you? very shrewd.

    if angela likes little wayne 'cause she doesn't know any better than you should give her anohter shot, but if you explain to her how his job is less rapping and more selling his own people into bondage, and after that she still likes him, she's a dud.

  • At 10:40 PM, Blogger deto-22 said…


    you could aim at girls who grew up on country.

    that's my wife and I.
    so, she now loves country, and every AFA'er.

    although....i still hate country.
    oh well.

  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Lee said…

    I'm not trying to date you, as I won't kiss you on the mouth like Wayne did Baby or nothing, but Sandman is dope. Agreed.

    I have to say also that I felt the same way about this girl I knew from the 'burbs back when Curtis came out. She was on some "Ooh, I love how thug he is" and so on. There were obviously some issues that I took with THAT beyond music. But yeah, I had to let her go. I had to cut her loose. Fine as she was we just couldn't connect.

    It can be tolerated to a point if they are open to discussion about how wack their tastes are and are willing to be reformed or something. But if they hold to it religiously I have to send them on their way. Fine can only get you so far when I have to listen to "In Da Club" all day. And no, "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" IS NOT a brilliant lyric.

    With that, you know I give props to Jay-Z and that beat for "A Milli" is tight. Wayne just wrecks it (and not in a good way) by saying nothing and being useless as an emcee.


  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger Adam Bernard said…

    Sandman - Yes, I am totally using your gift to lure ladies into my chamber. I go straight from playing "Verbal Soul Clap" to having them do an erotic booty clap. Works every time... and by "every time" I mean I've never really tried it, but if I do I'll let you know how it goes.

    deto - Now that's what I'm talking about! Although you can admit it, your girl has you lovin some Garth Brooks on the side.

    Lee - I think you see exactly where I'm coming from.

    "There were obviously some issues that I took with THAT beyond music."

    Yes, it's about the music, but it's also definitely about what we can infer about a person from their tastes.

    That being said, I'll still openly admit t.A.T.u is my ultimate guilty pleasure, but I can also defend the musicality in 200 KM/H In The Wrong Lane.

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