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Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Who Owes The Game Alimony?
Friday, May 04, 2007

In the world of celebrity lasting relationships are a rarity. Breakups and divorces are commonplace as fidelity is as endangered as, well, to be blunt, real talent. There is one case I noticed recently, however, that is so shocking, and is so unbelievable, that I felt the need to bring it to everyone’s attention, and that is the case of The Game. Oh sure, a lot of celebrities get hitched a few times, but The Game not only seems intent on breaking Elizabeth Taylor’s mark for matrimony, he may have, in fact, done so already. What am I talking about? Well it becomes more obvious when one takes a look at how many rappers have laid claim to being “married to The Game.”

At first I thought it was just Too Short. Sure he plays like he’s obsessed with women, but in 2003 he released an album titled Married To The Game which featured him in a groom’s outfit on the cover. This leads me to assume that either he was the groom, or that both men wore groomsman’s outfits. I haven’t been to Vermont since I was a child so I’m not up on my gay wedding couture. How perfect, though, right? Two west coast rappers finding love. But wait, there are more people involved, many many more.

Bad Boy founder and head honcho P. Diddy was one of those other folks involved as he also apparently exchanged nuptials with the man who penned The Documentary, exclaiming in his song “Angels With Dirty Faces,” “I'm married to The Game and every year's the same.” Every year? Really? Even the year The Game was shot? Clearly Diddy was not an attentive mate. Here’s hoping The Game took him for half (which would go a long way in explaining Bad Boy’s current roster). The Bad Boy connection doesn’t end there, though, as on the Notorious B.I.G.’s Life After Death The Lox advised people to “get married to The Game but never have a kid with it.” Clearly having a child with such a serial marry-er would be an awful idea. The Game already has one child, there’s no need to confuse his life even more with another. Just let him plan his weddings in peace. Come to think of it, I wonder if The Game has a subscription to Brides magazine? He could probably write a column for them.

Wanting to see the Liberty Bell and a Sixers game, The Game headed down to Philly a few years ago and apparently caught Cassidy’s eye. Although Cassidy made many claims in his hit “I’ma Hustla” the one that links him with the many married man is “married to The Game, same bride just a new groom.” What are we to think of the phrase “same bride?” Is that supposed to be Cassidy or The Game? And who is the significant other that The Game will eventually raise his child with?

Taking a trip down south The Game had a fling with Lil’ Wayne that the Cash Money millionaire related on the remix to his song “Cannon” when he said “I'm married to The Game and I love my wifey.” Clearly The Game should be getting something from this relationship since Lil’ Wayne referred to him as “wifey” and there’s no way with all these marriages pre-nups were drawn up every time. Who needs royalty checks when you’ve been married this many times?

Although all the talk of marriage has quieted down for now The Game still has at least one major headache on his hands. Sure bouncing from marriage to marriage is unstable, but what’s even worse about the situation is that The Game apparently lost his credit card at some point during all his travels and Silkk the Shocker has been committing some major fraud with it, charging everything to The Game. Heck, he even boasted about his adeptness at using the west coast MC’s plastic by naming an entire album after the act, and cleverly changing The Game's “The” to a “Da,” with Charge It 2 Da Game. The name alteration confused authorities enough to let him get away with it.

Now that The Game has a handle on the whole marriage issue it’s time for him to build his credit back up. And everyone out there, if you’re even thinking about getting married to The Game, or charging something to The Game, please step back and think twice. Hasn’t this man been through enough?


posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:47 AM  
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