Pop Shots - Looking Into The Future

Welcome to your weekly dose of pop world musings. Covering all things pop culture, this week Pop Shots is hitting you with thoughts on everything from the sad future Jessica Simpson’s baby is going to have, to the future audience of the teen film Spring Breakers (pictured above), to where the former co-founder of Roc-A-Fella Records will be spending a large chunk of his future, and since it’s Pop Shots you know everything is seasoned with a little bit of attitude.

* Celebrities have a pretty bad track record when it comes to naming their children, and Jessica Simpson is looking to continue that tradition. Simpson plans on naming her baby girl Maxwell, or Maxi for short, because the girl whose nickname is the same as a feminine hygiene product is going to have it SO easy in school. Lucky for Simpson, Snooki has yet to announce what she’ll be naming her offspring, but I’m betting it will be something along the lines of the shot she blacked out from the night the baby was conceived.

* Spring Breakers is a movie set for release in 2013 that stars Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson as college girls on spring break who commit a robbery to fund their vacation. A ton of pictures from it have hit the web over the past week and all of them feature the triumvirate in bikinis. Judging from what I’ve seen, Spring Breakers can expect some really creepy matinee audiences who usually frequent theaters that employ someone to mop up afterwards.

* In more movie news, a documentary on Bob Marley is set to be released on 4/20. I’m not making that up. That’s not a joke. It’s just... perfect.

* Everyone grieves differently. In the case of Whitney Houston’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, grieving comes in the form of hooking up with her adopted brother. Bastion of classiness TMZ is reporting Bobbi and her adopted bro have been seen kissing in public, and not in the sibling way. Suddenly the whole Snooki having a baby story looks like a Disney film script. Quick, someone call Pixar!

* In a recent interview with Oprah, that judging by the ratings of OWN nobody saw, Lady Gaga announced she won’t be doing any more interviews for “a very long time.” Call me a cynical writer who’s heard this kind of rhetoric before, but I’m betting “a very long time” ends up equating to “until the next time I have an album to promote.”

* Courtney Love attacked The Muppets for their cover of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” in the latest Muppets movie, saying it “raped” Kurt Cobain’s legacy. Leaving aside the fact that the version in the film was hilarious, and the fact that former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl was in the film, Cobain also wrote a song titled “Rape Me,” which kind of invites being raped. Jack Black, who was in the scene where “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was sung, has fired back at Love in defense of The Muppets, calling Love’s comments “absurd.” Here’s hoping a Muppet parody of Hole is in the works. It would be YouTube gold!

* A lot of people in hip-hop like to pretend that they’re gangsters. The few that actually attempt it as a career despite being successful in the music industry are a special kind of stupid. The latest to find himself on that list is the former business partner of Jay-Z, and co-founder of Roc-A-Fella Records with Jay and Dame Dash, Kareem “Biggs” Burke. Last week Burke plead guilty to a charge of conspiracy to distribute, and a charge of possession with intent to distribute, over 100kg of marijuana. Apparently his former partner was wrong, you can knock the hustle... and get knocked for it.

* Last year I wrote a Pop Shots column about how I can’t stand cursing in pop music, and how the radio edits of those songs almost always sound better. Adding to my argument is Neon Hitch’s single “Love U Betta,” which sounds great as a radio edit, but terrible as the original version, “F*ck U Betta.” I don’t care if the edit was only done to get radio airplay, and drastically changes the meaning of the song, it makes it better, MUCH better. In addition to being a far more enjoyable listen, the video for “Love U Betta” is a throwback to when music videos could be described as “boner inducing,” and I, for one, appreciate that.


And with that, my time is up for the week, but I'll be back next week with more shots on all things pop.