About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Pop Shots - Rolling In The Gifts
Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Welcome to your weekly dose of pop world musings. Covering all things pop culture, this week, in a continuation of an annual tradition I started last year, I’m hitting you with a very special Christmas song that I wrote to the year’s biggest pop hit. Last year I made it a very Ke$ha Christmas. This year I turned Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep” into a little ditty about someone with a life on the naughty list wondering why the promises of a mall Santa have gone unanswered. Happy holidays, and enjoy “Rolling In The Gifts.”

There's a fire starting in my den
Reaching a low heat, I break out my paper and pen
Finally I can write my letter to you
Where’s my Robocop and new edition of Clue?
I thought you were jolly, giving and kind
Now I underestimate you during Christmastime

There's a fire starting in my den
Reaching a low heat, I break out my paper and pen

The scars of sweaters remind me of Claus
They keep me thinking that I almost had it all
The scars of sweaters, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
I could have had it all
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
Rolling in the gifts
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
You had candy canes inside of your hand
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
And you gave one to me
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)

Santa, I have a story to be told
It’s true I spilled fajita and made someone’s head burn
But c’mon hook me up, please try to be fair
I promise that all gifts will sometimes be shared

(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
The scars of sweaters remind me of Claus
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
They keep me thinking I could have had it all
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
The scars of sweaters, they leave me breathless
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
I can't help feeling
I could have had it all
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
Rolling in the gifts
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
You had candy canes inside of your hand
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
And you gave one to me
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
Could have had it all
Rolling in the gifts
You had candy canes inside of your hand
And you gave it so freely

Throw your soul through every chimney stack
Count your nice list, my name it shouldn’t lack
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You'll pay me back for those years of lumps of coal

(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
I could have had it all
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
I could have had it all
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
It all, it all, it all
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)

I could have had it all
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
Rolling in the gifts
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
You had candy canes inside of your hand
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
And you gave one to me
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)

I could have had it all
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)
Rolling in the gifts
(Sat on your lap, so I could meet you)
You had candy canes inside of your hand
(I went to the mall, so I could meet you)

And you gave it
You gave it
You gave it
You gave it to me

And with that, my time is up for the week, but I'll be back next week with more shots on all things pop. Merry Christmas everyone!

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posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:30 AM  
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