About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
See my complete profile
Bios & Press Releases

Bios: $250-$300
Press Releases: $50

Check out samples here

For more info, or to set something up, email me

Artist Advice e-book

Muscle For Your Hustle What Every DIY Musician Needs to Know (2011)

A collection of 22 of my best artist advice articles

Pick it up for just $1

Photo Ops

w/ Beautiful Bodies ('15)


w/ Michael Imperioli ('14)


w/ Millionaires ('12)


w/ Adam Duritz, iLLspoKinN & Notar ('10)


w/ Kevin Pereira on the old set of
Attack of the Show ('09)

Magazine Articles

Rocko The Intern

July 2010 - January 2013
The Recession Hits a New Low… err, High
Friday, April 24, 2009

If anyone was wondering how far reaching our recession is I think I may have found the answer last weekend at Washington Square Park in New York City. Apparently, even the weed dealers are feeling the crunch.

It was a perfect day outside and I was walking around the city with my homegirl Q, showing her some of the important sights of NYC while she was in town. It was Record Store Day, so we had already hit up Fat Beats and seen the AOK Collective perform and afterwards the weather was so nice we decided to hit up the park. Of course, since the park in question was Washington Square Park we were offered weed literally the second we walked in.

Positioned like a Wal-Mart greeter, just 180 years younger and sans the blue vest, the dealer of the day was perched on a railing at the park’s entrance. Not exactly inconspicuous, but that wasn’t the point. He had product to move and it isn’t exactly a secret that such dealings go on in Washington Square Park on a minute by minute basis. Spying us walking in he immediately saw a potential sale, which I thought was interesting since I always feel like I look like the worst NARC ever. Perhaps it was all the talk of Fat Beats that led him to know that we weren’t 5-0. Regardless, as we took our third step into the park he said his greetings to us. Here’s how the conversation went:

“You smoke?”
“Nah man, not right now.”

Short pause as he looks us over.

“Couple’s discount?”

It shocked me to hear it. The recession has gotten to the point where even the local weed man is offering discounts, and only two days before 4/20! Who would have ever thought a group of people who sell stimulants would need a stimulus package themselves? How far will this go? Sure, it starts with discount weed, but what’s next, BOGO sales on dime bags? Free giveaways with purchase?

“Get your weed now and we’ll throw in this free Shamwow! The Shamwow! is made in Germany, so you know it’s strong cuz German’s make good stuff. Speaking of good stuff, you’re gonna love my weed, it’s top notch!”

Actually, come to think of it, weed and a Shamwow! is a pretty killer combination. It’s almost as good as weed and a free bag of chips.

Ironically, earlier in the day another buddy of mine brought up the idea that since we’re in a recession strippers should be charging less. He had just been to a bachelor party and said twenty bucks was just too much to shell out for a lapdance right now. A cut rate would actually make sense for both the strippers and their customers. Rather than spending half their night calling people “baby” while wandering around a dimly lit club searching for a guy willing to pay them twenty bucks for 200 seconds of grind time they could be raking in the dough if they cut their rate in half and spent the majority of their time working their hips rather than working the crowd. Then they would have plenty to bring to their local drug dealer, who is clearly also busy trying to swing deals. Oh, I’m sorry, did I say they’d bring their money to their local drug dealer, I meant college tuition payment center. Yeah, that’s it.

The moral of the story – whenever the recession has you down just think of all the weed dealers and strippers it’s affecting, too, and shed a little tear for them… the real heroes.

Labels: ,

posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:47 AM  
1 Comments:
  • At 3:10 AM, Blogger Skila said…

    you just gave me the CRAZZZZY idea, thanks

     
Post a Comment
<< Home
 
Follow

Email List

Popular Columns

The Struggles Foreign Artists Face in the US, & How to Overcome Them


Ten Secrets for Making a Show a Success Despite a Low Turnout


What Happens to an Artist When Their Record Label Folds

Latest Podcast

The Drunk Train #9
feat. Lucy Camp
& Toussaint Morrison
Stand-Up Comedy

My set from Soce's
First-Timer's Show (April '14)
B-Lister Nation
B-Listers are a select group of artists that were featured in my Artist Of The Week series that ran every Monday from April of '06 to April of '11. All of these artists have two things in common; extreme talent, and a flight path far too under the radar for my liking. They took on the title of B-Listers as they embraced being featured by me, Adam B. Check out the AOTW Archives for all the interviews.

Friends of Adam’s World
60 Second Review
Adam John | Kid Kryptic
Always Home and Uncool
AngryMarks
Backpack Cat
Claudia Alick
Definitely Amazing
Gangstarr Girl
Fly Like Dove
FreeHipHopNow
Halo Doesn’t Suck
I Are Conscious
iHeartDilla
Jesse Abraham
Joey K’s Place
Jus Rhyme
Ken Morico
Life of a Rockstar
MC Larny Rocks
Nappy Diatribe
Nobody Beats The Liz
Paul Gargano
Pay Us No Mind
Popular Opinions
Ramblings of the BK GrrlGenius
RapDirt
RapReviews
Sleep Dirt
Speech Is My Hammer
Stamford Talk
The 54 Reality Show
The BillaBlog
The Race to Nowhere
xo Publicity

Member Of

BLOGGER

Wikio - Top Blogs - Music

Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

    Older Posts                 Newer Posts