MTV Looks to Re-Milk a Dead Cow

Anyone who reads this site knows I’m no fan of award shows. I can think of a million more enjoyable ways to spend an evening than watching a bunch of rich folks patting themselves on the back. The VMAs were on Sunday and normally I’d skip any mention of such an event, but when the news came out that only one year after Britney Spears completed her mental breakdown at the awards show with a terrible performance that should have sent her as far away from MTV as possible, MTV brought her back to give her three major awards; best female video, best pop video and video of the year (all for “Piece of Me”). While some see this as MTV giving Spears a beautiful comeback I see MTV’s actions for what they really are; an attempt to re-milk a dead cow.

Britney fans, please do not take offense to the cow analogy. I am not implying she’s an actual cow, or even fat. What I’m saying is MTV milked her for all the money they could from the late nineties till the mid 2000’s. They then watched and reported on her epic downfall. Failed marriages, drug abuse, supposed insanity, and to cap it all off, when they knew she was at her lowest point, they decided to parade her on stage to open the 2007 VMAs. That should have been the end of it. They made her a celebrity and then they killed her off. But no, the people at MTV, and most record label A&Rs, have become so inept at finding any new talent that can hold people’s attention for more than a nanosecond they went back to her.

By giving Spears three major awards MTV, for now, looks like they’re the good guy. They can say sure, they let her flop on a national stage, but look at how they rewarded her afterwards… she finally has some VMAs! The fact of the matter is now, when Spears should probably be focusing on what the next stage of her life will entail, she’ll instead be pushed to make another record, do more live shows and spend even more time on a career where plenty of people other than her will be profiting off of her, most notably the people at MTV who, were it not for The Hills, wouldn’t even have a network to run right now.

MTV feels they need Britney Spears, one of the lone recognizable names from the 90’s that can still make a tabloid headline. All the other girls from that era have moved on, either by choice (Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore) or by circumstance (Jessica Simpson). Spears is the lone artist from that group who MTV can still convince that the network is necessary for their lives, and they’re going to build her up a second time only to break her down all over again. The VMA moon men are just the bait in this game. If Spears goes for the bait and decides to continue her relationship with MTV I have no doubt there will be plenty of executives ready to reel her in, create a reality show about the recording of her next album, and then salivate in hopes that the album flops so they can chronicle the mess that will follow, all in the name of ratings and money. There’s probably someone in an office at 1515 Broadway right now saying “surely a second breakdown would be bigger than her first, right?”

If Spears is smart she’ll take those trophies, put them on her mantle, and look to do the mom thing for a while. The vampiric farmers at MTV hope to milk the life out of her all over again, but I have to wonder if anyone is reminder her that she has a family to raise. If you don’t need the money there’s no need to do a comeback. The only way anything good can come from a comeback is if she’s learned from her past mistakes and knows the exact time to tell MTV to go eff themselves.

The current crop of High School Musical kids and however many Jonas Brothers there are out there (c’mon, you know Disney has a factory where they churn them out) will never reach the heights of fame Britney Spears and N*Sync did, but rather than find more new talent and see what people might connect with, MTV is looking to get Spears back in its grips again. Apparently they feel there’s still some life left in her to squeeze out.

Here’s an idea for MTV, rather than going the exploitative route, hire some people who actually know music, regardless of how old they are. I don’t care if it’s a 15 year old blogger or a 55 year old former label head. Get those people hired and in your offices (I’m guessing I’m probably not at the top of your list after writing this article, but oh well). We need new stars, a new generation of voices and stories. Once you have those artists in your lineup you’ll be able to give that single mother of two you plan on feeding off of all over again a much deserved rest.