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Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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8 Signs Your Management May Hate You
Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Finding a manager you can trust in the music industry is one of the most difficult tasks every artist has to deal with. A manager is supposed to be not only a person of extreme business acumen with a rolodex bursting at the seams, but also a confidant and even, when the relationship is good enough, a friend. An artist should be able to tell when that relationship is going sour as there have been career moves of many a famous person that have blatantly showed their management to have given up all hope on them. Today I’m taking at look at some of those moments in an effort to warn all the artists out there about some of the key phrases that, if they hear them, should have them shopping for new representation.

- “Rickrolling is really popular right now; you should really do a remake of ‘Never Gonna Give You Up.’” Sadly, High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale listened to this “advice” and the ramifications are painful in oh so many ways (but thank God for Tay Zonday!).

- “Doing a song with Ja Rule will really resurrect your career.” Bobby Brown, this may have been your manager’s prerogative, but every little step you took closer to Ja Rule was a step further away from a comeback (even if your vocals did sound dope).

- “I don’t care if you don’t know him, you gotta start a high profile beef for this record to sell.” OK, this one has worked a few times, but more often than not these fabricated beefs just get boring and the masses become disinterested. If you want to see how well a high profile beef can affect album sales just ask Benzino how he’s doing post-Eminem bashing.

- “Reality TV is definitely the way to go to hype your next project.” How are those album sales for Bret Michaels doing after two seasons of Rock of Love? And has anyone from The Surreal Life or Celebrity Fit Club gone on to do anything other than the reunion episodes of those shows?

- “Don’t be worried about that sex tape, it’s going to launch your career to new heights.” Even with a mega-hit of a single in “Sexy Can I” Ray J’s having a hard time selling albums. Well, at least Kim K got a reality show out of it. Refer to the previous listing for all the potential in that.

- “Now that you’re married you really need to do a television show together.” Sure, only if you really want to get divorced. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline… and the list goes on and on.

- “You can always try to market your American Idol appearance later in life.” Unless by “later in life” you mean three hours from your disappearance from the show it’s a safe bet that those WERE your 15 minutes of fame. Hope they were fun.

- “No one’s going to think you’re gay.” If this sentence has to be uttered rest assured it’s false. Everyone is going to think you’re gay. Whether it’s you shirt, your pants, your shoes, or the person you’re taking to an awards show. You should probably handle that, unless you are gay, in which case go on wit yo bad self.

Now, we all know there are a lot more than just those eight signs that your management may hate you, so please, feel free to add on. Hit me with your best examples!


posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:48 AM  
  • At 9:45 AM, Blogger Mara said…

    Don't forget, "Yeah, yeah, I'll get right on that!"



    Thanks Adam, this made me giggle.

  • At 10:16 AM, Blogger Manager Mom said…

    Ha! I have nothing to add from a music industry perspective. But I did cackle a little bit imagining my VP of Sales telling me to start a Death Row/Bad Boy style feud with the guy who manages supply chain operations. It would be an epic battle of middle management!

  • At 11:02 AM, Blogger Adam Bernard said…

    I stay in Hip-Hop because the corporate world is way too gangster for me. :)

  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Crew54 said…

    haha thats whats up Adam, maybe we can start a blogger beef and then unite on a blog for the whole world to see like Jay-z/Nas

    think that will get us like ten more page hits...

  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger Lee said…

    I'm in love with Manager Mom: "epic battle of middle management!"


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