About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Does This Make Me a Backpacker?
Friday, May 16, 2008

On Tuesday I had two major meetings in the city, one was with Beyond Race and the other was with Jive Records. Whenever I hit the city I have to take a bag of some kind because there is no way I’m sitting through an hour long train ride without a book, plus, for this particular trip I’d be picking up a dozen more copies of Beyond Race to get to various PR people, so I was going to need something that could handle all those magazines. At the issue’s release party I tried using one of my shoulder bags, but the weight of the magazines was brutal, plus it was hard to run with and I was constantly smacking people with the bag accidentally whenever I walked onto the subway. One of my friends suggested I use a backpack instead.

I had a few concerns about donning a backpack to meetings. I already look youthful, so my biggest concern was that people would think I was “just a kid” by virtue of not having a more professional looking bag. For my Tuesday trip, however, I took the advice of my friend and for the first time since 2000 (my last year of college) I strapped on my backpack. Guess what, all of my concerns turned out to be nothing more than pure paranoia as it worked like a charm. Not only was I comfortable, but I had a much easier time getting to the stuff I wanted when I wanted it. It was like meeting a girl you used to hang out with all the time back in the day and finding out she’s suddenly a knockout you want to bone. I’m not saying I want to bone my backpack, the zippers would hurt like hell and I’m sure they’d rip the condom. Yes, I’d wear a condom. Lord knows I don’t need to be fathering any fanny packs. Sometime during the middle of the day, though, the lyrics to Musiq’s “caughtup” entered my mind because when it came to my old college backpack, “since then she got a whole lot finer.” I always thought of backpacks as big and clunky back when I was in school, but dayum if they ain’t some beautiful pieces of equipment now.

Of course, with this newfound love of backpacks also comes a new concern. Does my love of my backpack make me *gasp* a “backpacker?” Do I now have to jock everything that comes out on an indie Hip-Hop label? Does the fact that I already like some of those artists only work to add to this unwanted tag? Is someone up in the offices going to make me trade in my cassette tape (yes, I said cassette tape!) copy of The Chronic for some awful emo rap album that I’ll suddenly have to say “changed Hip-Hop” despite the fact that nobody heard it? And please don’t tell me I have to start liking Kanye West! Nah, forget all that, I’m just wearing a backpack because it’s freakin comfortable, and if anyone asks, yes I happen to like quite a few indie Hip-Hop artists, but that really has nothing to do with anything. Labels be damned, you won’t put that “backpacker” tag on me!

Well, now that I’ve cleared all that up I want to make an open call to all the backpack companies out there to design a special Adam B Journalist Backpack. This will be huge! Hear me out. The Adam B Journalist Backpack will be specially catered to the journalist on the move (which should be ALL of us!). First, we need compartments for pens, pencils and small pads. Second, there will have to be a special pocket for a digital camera with an inner pocket for spare batteries and memory cards. Third, an outer mesh pocket that will hold an umbrella and another that will hold an energy drink (sleeping rarely happens as often as we’d like it to). We’ll also need a nicely padded inner pocket within the backpack’s large pocket that will be able to hold a laptop. Finally, we’ll need one more special pocket just for the CDs every rapper hands to us when we walk into, or out of, a show. When it comes to durability, the Adam B Journalist Backpack will have to be made out of materials that will be tough enough to last on the floors of the many concert venues and subway trains it will end up sitting on. Yes, one day crowds will stand up and say “wow, that Adam B sure has a beautiful sack!”

So step up backpack companies and let me know who wants to make this happen. C’mon, you have backpacks for hikers, students and all sorts of other folks, why not make one for working journalists? We’re a great demographic and as an added bonus, since, let’s face it, this is my idea, you can sponsor me and have the great fortune of having me rock your creation on the streets of NYC and throughout the office buildings of magazines and major record labels. Just think of the great publicity!

So, who else wants an Adam B Journalist Backpack?
posted by Adam Bernard @ 7:43 AM  
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