Mr. Jones & Me

This Monday I turned 29 years old. Now, some of you may be expecting some well thought out reflection on what it means to be 29 and how it feels to know that as of this moment I officially have less than a year left in my 20’s. To be honest, I thought about writing such a post, but then my father emailed me with some life-changing news that I simply had to share. Are you ready for this? Pacman Jones’ real name is Adam Bernard Jones. That’s right, Adam Bernard Jones! I was overjoyed to read this. The news brought me to a euphoric state. Suspended Tennessee Titan and former TNA tag team champion Pacman Jones and I share a name. Today I got to thinking, what other things do Pacman and I have in common?

Let’s start with careers. Jones is suspended for the entire 2007 NFL season due to his numerous run-ins with the law. Coincidentally enough, I, too, will not be playing a single down in the NFL this season. For me it’s due to my numerous run-ins with only being 145 pounds. But still, how weird is that? Jones was also a tag team champion in TNA without ever actually wrestling thanks to the Titans not letting him do anything physical that might injure him while being suspended. So basically, he spoke with other wrestlers like Ron Killings and AJ Styles while hanging out near the ring. Amazingly enough, this is something else we have in common as I, too, have never wrestled in a TNA match, but have spoken with AJ Styles (Soak Magazine issue #19). These commonalities are starting to get a bit creepy, I know.

Next up – the law, and I ain’t talkin about Kansas City Chiefs standout defensive back Ty Law! When it comes to Pacman Jones his theme song should be The Clash’s “I Fought The Law (and The Law Won).” Since being drafted into the NFL in 2005 he’s been arrested six times and questioned by police eleven times with the majority of his problems stemming from late nights at clubs, both the regular kind and those of the strip variety. Well, brace yourself for this one folks. Since 2005 I, too, have been pulled over by the police a number of times, including multiple times at the same sobriety check point, where the police have questioned me. “Did you drink tonight? How many did you have? Where are you headed?” And when did all of these instances happen? After nights at various clubs. It’s uncanny.

Musically Jones is looking to collaborate on a rap album. I think all of you who read me with any sort of regularity know my penchant for loving Hip-Hop, so once again both Adam Bernards have something in common. This is beyond freaky. Who knew Pacman Jones was the NFL’s me? (note, it’s not the other way around, I’m older!) Should I be donning a Pacman Jones jersey? Should I make a sign supporting him and attend a TNA show?

Maybe one day I could have Jones on this site, or my radio show, and we could do an interview, one Adam Bernard to another. I bet he tried to grab his name as a blogger address at some point and wondered who this Adam Bernard was that had it. Well, it’s me, Pacman, it’s me! Let’s get together and show the world that our combined powers of being Adam Bernards are potentially unstoppable.

(Man, I really wonder what he’s going to think of this if it comes up the next time he Googles himself.)

Related Links

ESPN.com: Pacman Jones
SoakMag.com: AJ Styles Interview