Creativity Is Key

I recently read that Ashlee Simpson is hoping to end up with a regular guy, meaning a non-actor, non-musician, someone who, by all outside appearances, is a normal Joe. I applaud her for this, and not just because I may fall into that category of a sort of regular guy, but because with the way the entertainment world is set up musicians and actors are almost forced to date each other and for her to come out against that is pretty cool. In Hollywood, if actress X says she likes rocker Y’s music and thinks he’s cute their agents and managers get on their phones and get them together for a date. This, of course, as we all know, is not how regular people meet up and date.

Reading the article about Ashlee got me thinking about what I’m looking for in a woman. This is something I’ve often told myself I want write down but never have. Well, guess what, I think I’m going to dedicate the rest of this post to this topic and finally write out the qualities I look for in a woman (as of November of 2005. Hey, we’re all open to change!). Grab a drink, this could get long.

Looks - I’m putting looks first because there’s no need to sugar coat it, physical attraction is very important, and for more than just the obvious reason. In terms of looks I prefer my women to be either slender (slender, not rail thin!) or athletic (but not Chyna-like!), and there’s nothing wrong with average as long as the person is active. Now I’m not about to parade around in a "No Fat Chicks" shirt, but the reality of the situation is I’m a very athletic person, I work out five days a week, and someone who’s significantly overweight not only wouldn’t be able to keep up with me, but also wouldn’t share my lifestyle, and if things don’t work on that level they won’t work on any level.

Sense of Humor - This one is huge. I have a wicked sense of humor and if someone can’t take a joke they can’t take me, plain and simple.

Creativity - Creativity is very important to me. I know it seems like a weird thing to list but as a writer I’m drawn to the creative, the artists, the singers, the dancers, the designers. I’m not saying one has to be attempting to live off their creativity (Lord knows it ain’t easy), but I find it very difficult to date someone who just has a regular job, she’s got to have some other passion in life. If she has a regular job but paints in her off time, then it’s a go!

Mutual Interests - Not every interest should be mutual between partners, that’s just weird and leaves no time for either party to be alone, but there should be some mutual interests. For me, the big interests I hope any perspective girl will at least be willing to learn about are sports and music. If I can take a girl to a ballgame I know she’s a potential winner.

Laid Back - Nothing against Type A double espresso drinkers, but the woman I’m looking for is definitely a more chill individual. Even though I consider myself a pretty laid back person I know can get high strung at times and if the person I’m with is also high strung it makes for a lot of bad energy. A calming influence is good influence.

Maturity - I like to go out to bars and investigate new places, but unless it’s very special situation there is no need to drink to an extreme measure. Trade in some of that vodka for Vonnegut. We’ll be able to talk for hours and there’s far less of a chance anyone will vomit.

Mental Stimulation - The old saying is reading is fundamental, and as a writer I have to agree. With my job I can’t imagine dating a non-reader. "Hey honey did you see my latest article?" "You know I don’t read." Goodbye.

Style - Style honestly doesn’t matter that much. I’ve been attracted to the girls who are dressed for a night on the town and the ones with green streaks in their hair and nose rings (remember, I dig creativity, so that kind of stuff is hot to me). As long as a person’s style is true to who they are I’m pretty much cool with anything... well, as long as they wash their clothes on a regular basis. Nobody likes a stinky girl!

Of course things like honesty and trustworthiness go without saying (but I said them anyway, isn’t it ironic? Don’t ya think?), but I think I’ve now written out the majority of the qualities I look for in a woman. After reading it over it really doesn’t seem like I’m asking for all that much, so where are all the good single women at?

Comments

AJ WOODSON said…
cool post
I truly believe if more people spend more time in being clear what it is they are looking for...
I mean how can you expect a spouse or significant other treat you how you want when you dont know what you want yourself.

Anyway keep blogging I really feel you on the creative thing
Adam Bernard said…
EXACTLY! I think a lot of people are out there dating with cloudy heads, not knowing what they want, just sampling people until they get one they feel comfortable enough with. But I'm 27, I think I've sampled enough folks to know who I get along well with. It was definitely time to write it all out.
Anonymous said…
Adam,
It sounds like you have a good balanced plan for what kind of girl you want, but I noticed a few things that you didn't put in, that are really important issues. Drugs? Do you care if she smokes some pot or does some coke? Big wedding? Kids?Do you want some? How many? And does that mean she can stay home and raise them? Religion? Parents involved? Finances? Shared or seperate?
Adam Bernard said…
Cindi,

First off, thanks for checking out my blog. I think a lot of the points you brought up are more marriage oriented. Weddings, kids, how involved parents are, those aren't issues I'm really looking at when I'm seeing if I want to date someone. One step at a time.

When it comes to the drugs, it's damn near 2006 and in our economy both the man and the woman have to work, so I'm guessing anyone I date will have to be passing some drug tests somewhere.

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