About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Photo Ops

w/ Beautiful Bodies ('15)

w/ Michael Imperioli ('14)

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w/ Kevin Pereira on the old set of
Attack of the Show ('09)

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Rocko The Intern

July 2010 - January 2013
A Diaper for the Driver's Side?
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Just when I thought my car couldn’t get any more fun, Tuesday night happened. Tuesday, overall, was a drenched day. It rained for the entire day and night. Everything seemed fine, though, and I had no trouble driving to the radio show. When I left the studio to go home, however, was when I ran into another small situation. It was late, around 12:30am, and all I wanted to do was go home. I opened up my car and sat down like I normally do. There was something different this time though, I felt a little damp, actually more than a little damp, and this was because I sat down in what can only be described as a lake. I knew my sunroof leaked a bit, but it was never more than a drip. On this night, however, it leaked like crazy. The amount of water I sat in soaked through my pants AND my drawrs. You’d think that would be the end of it, but you’d be mistaken. The next day I went to hit the gym and I put my driver’s side visor down to keep the sun out of my eyes. A normal thing, you might think, but when I did this more water came down, not a lot, but the back of the visor was still wet! I don’t know what kind of alternate leak prone dimension I was in, but I hope to never visit it again. I like my car, I like my car a lot, but I especially like it when it’s dry.

Cars haven’t been the only thing letting me down recently, women are also on that list, as well. It seems that even though Date Patrol did a great job when it comes to making me a better dater, they need to get in contact with just about every woman I’ve seriously tried to date. I’ve finally noticed a pattern and it’s troubling. The women (and I use that term loosely) I make great conversation with, and that I end up being attracted to always end up sleeping with someone else. It’s these same women who throw me the horrible line of "you deserve the best." First off, good job on the self-esteem, I deserve the best but you’re not puttin out for me so what does that make you Streetwalker Texas Ranger? Second, I’m geting tired of my female friends, and females I’m attracted to, thinking there’s some mythical woman that’s out there that’s perfect for me. I’ve realized there isn’t, why can’t everyone else figure that out? It’s not like I’m gonna be chillin at a spot some day and have a beautiful woman say how much she loves my writing and/or radio show and simply has to have me. The only women I know of like that exist in a magical place called fiction. Since I live in reality, it’s hard to meet fictitious girls. Hopefully we’ll have a mixer someday, but it’s not lookin good as of now.

I am not going to fall into the trap of simply using the cliché "nice guys finish last" to describe the situation. Rather than using that saying, which is a cop out, I’ll put more of the blame squarely on my own personal taste in women. I always end up attracted to women that are wrong for me in some way, shape or form. I don’t know how to adjust this and I don’t even know if it’s possible to. I’m beginning to think that I should just stop trying to date altogether but that wouldn’t result in a positive relationship either. The true definition of dating may just be going after all the wrong people until one turns out to be right. My only question is how much longer do I have to pay my dues?

Final Thought: Did anyone else notice that the cab taking away the loser on The Apprentice last night nearly got into an accident pulling out from the hotel? The cab nearly got smashed into when it illegally merged lanes (oh yeah, I noticed the muthabusta didn’t signal). Hey cabbie, you’re fired!
posted by Adam Bernard @ 10:52 AM  
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