About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Popular Columns

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Monday, January 12, 2004
I've been stricken with a sever case of reality, but don't worry, judging by most of the people I see, it's not contagious.

Monday afternoon and I already have something to write about? Damn skippy! (and no, the headline has nothing to do with the rest of this post) After a 20 minute delay to clean the snow off of my car I was off on my normal Monday routine of going grocery shopping. At the grocery store I noticed a new checkout girl and, realizing her title to it's fullest, I made sure to "check her out." (Damn, that was corny Adam, why you gotta be so corny?) She was a cute Hispanic girl (exactly my type), and she had a very pretty, well, everything. Normally I wouldn't say anything, I'm pretty reserved around people I don't know unless it's work-related, but in 2004 apparently I'm Mr. Playa. After she asked for my signature I played it as smooth as possible. "You askin for my autograph? If you're asking for my autograph is it OK if I ask for your phone number?" She laughed, but said no. For some reason, though, I felt really good about myself afterwards, like I accomplished something. There was no feeling of rejection. No feeling of loss. No feeling like I had just done something stupid. I honestly felt good. Maybe all my advice to myself is finally paying off. I did the numbers, I think I'm attracted to about one in five women, and I've been telling myself "when I see one I'm actually attracted to I might as well say something. Don't develop any connection, just say something." I figured maybe one in ten girls I, or anyone else, asks out will actually say yes. So if I ask a girl and she says no, who cares, I had no connection, but the percentages suddenly shift into my favor, cuz each time a girl says no I'm one closer to a girl that says yes.

Did any of that make sense?
posted by Adam Bernard @ 1:20 PM  
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