About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Thursday, January 08, 2004
I will not play your silly little games. I will not let you indulge in your mental fuck-fest fantasies. I will not succumb to the idiocy you want me to stoop to. I am so much better than that. I only wish you were, too.

Last night I called up a girl I've been feelin for a little while now. She's the sister of one of my best friends' girlfriends and we've talked on and off for a couple of months. We hung out last Friday and I had left a note that referenced a conversation we had that night. Her sister and my friend were there to watch her read it. She laughed according to them, even said the second part of it was "sweet." I included a condom with it that literally had her name on it (as per our convo). She never called to say anything about the note, which also included an invite to dinner. OK, time for a quick rant:

Not calling to at least say you got the note was straight rudeness. Even if we don't end up a couple we HAVE to end up friends. I won't let this kind of nonsense get in the way of my boy's new relationship. I think his new girl is great. Heck, I should, I helped hook them up! It just makes sense for me and this girl to be friends because we both get left alone in our respective homes when her sis and my boy go out on a date. My boy isn't my roommate (I live alone) but he lives in NY so he has to crash at my place when he takes his girl out. Why should the two of us be home alone when we can be chillin together? At the very least the two of us could head out to a bar and pick up people, nah mean? I dunno, but to me it just seems logical.

Anyways, I called her last night to ask if she got the note and what she was thinkin. She called back (but my phone didn't ring) and left a voicemail in a very bitchy tone saying she didn't appreciate the condom (despite the fact that it didn't really bother her, except for a few seconds of shock value, according to everyone else who was there) but the rest of the note was "fine." "Fine" was said like a five year old says it when they don't get their way. I guess this was supposed to make me jump, or make me feel. The problem for her is, I have to care first for any of these games to work and right now I just don't care. I feel nothing for her. After being screwed over by the few women I've actually felt something for (and been stupid enough to voice those feelings to) I refuse to create petty first glance emotions anymore. Until there is a real connection I see no need to feign one.

So while I will sit here and type this story out, that's the extent of me dealing with it. And truthfully the only reason that I'm typing it all out is so that I can look back on the situation and see if I did the right thing. Also, you never know when my reality will turn up in my fiction. ;o)
posted by Adam Bernard @ 10:48 AM  
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