No Grudges – LTrain’s Dynamic Duo Embark on a New Journey

Since 2011 Gabriel Castellar and Crystalla Gonzalez have been known throughout New York City as the founding members of the rock band LTrain.

As is sometimes the case with indie bands, while LTrain was experiencing success, and selling out shows at legendary venues like Arlene’s Grocery, and The Studio at Webster Hall, they were also seeing quite a bit of turnover when it came to the members of the band. The duo, however, remained consistent as the core of the group.

At the end of 2019, the core decided it was time to move on.

Gabriel (guitar, vocals) and Crystalla (vocals) – who are a couple both in music, and outside of music – formed No Grudges, and according to Gabriel, “Honestly, this has been like the deepest spiritual awakening as artists for us.”

Last stop on the LTrain 

The decision to end LTrain wasn’t one that came easily. Crystalla says, “We were going through a lot of different emotions. It was a very difficult time. This was the only band I’d ever been in in my entire life, and we worked so hard. I could never say anything bad about anyone. We all put in so much time, so much energy, so much work, and it was a sad thing to happen, but at the end I really do feel like we’re all growing in our different ways, and it just had to happen like that.”

Additionally, Gabriel felt the band’s name had ceased to represent the reasons they originally chose it. “The name lost its context,” he says, “The neighborhoods that train runs through are completely different now. New York 10 years ago almost feel like it’s 20 years ago. It really is a tale of two different cities.”

When he considers how much the city has changed, and then thinks about the name LTrain, he says, “It just felt like we were wearing old shoes.”

Then there was their music, which had also changed significantly over the years, as Gabriel notes, “As our songs have progressed we talk less and less about the train, or less and less about being New Yorkers, and now we’re more introspective, a lot more personal.”

The final stop for LTrain found the duo on the platform of No Grudges.

“We just wanted to start fresh,” Crystalla explains, “and have a new vibe, and with everything that we had gone through, the ups and downs of LTrain, I feel like we just wanted something fresh, and just a positive outlook on things, and going in that direction of not holding any grudges. No grudges.”

A panacea for the pandemic 

While LTrain was officially dissolved in December of 2019, according to Crystalla, “It has really been over like in August.” Not soon after, No Grudges was born, although the duo didn’t make an official announcement until April of 2020.

Of course, they had no idea when they were in the process of creating No Grudges that they’d be launching the project during a pandemic. That said, No Grudges has turned out to be a bit of a savior for both of them, especially Crystalla, who found herself dealing with an issue that many have been grappling with as of late.

“This is my first time ever opening up about this, but after we announced LTrain had ended I actually had gotten a lot of anxiety from announcing it. I’m very, I guess sometimes I’m hard on myself. I’m like, oh my God, something we all put so much effort, and time (into), and now it’s over. I developed a lot of anxiety, and then the pandemic hit, and obviously everyone’s anxiety is going. I think putting that into doing music actually really really helped us.”

She continued, adding, “In a way, I was still kind of mourning LTrain, and we were stuck in the house, we were playing like Facebook Live, and things like that. We just decided why not, let’s start this, even though it’s the pandemic, and we can’t really do shows at the moment, but it just seemed like the perfect thing to do because we miss talking to people.”

Gabriel feels that starting the band knowing all the things they weren’t going to be able to do lent a special character to it. “It makes it all that more pure.”

What’s in a name? 

While the name LTrain ended up losing much of its meaning, the name No Grudges doesn’t have such potential pitfalls. Gabriel explains, “The term No Grudges, at least for me, is our message to the music business … I would understand if (people) assume that No Grudges is about our past members, (but) that message is really to the music business. There are a lot of people that have done us dirty, a lot of businesspeople, a lot of professionals, and it’s kinda like in order for us to move on as artists we have to go by that philosophy of No Grudges.”

Crystalla adds that she was inspired by the Nina Simone song “I Hold No Grudge,” saying, “I felt like that was like the perfect philosophy for No Grudges, so I just really pull that song, and philosophy, and I feel like I just want more positivity in my life.”

Their very first love song 

One of the reasons Gabriel and Crystalla moved on from LTrain was that their songwriting had grown, and changed, and now represented something different. That something different includes giving more insight into who they are as people.

According to Crystalla, “These songs are more personal than we had ever been with LTrain. LTrain was more about, I guess more about other stories, things maybe that we had experienced, or friends that we have seen going through a certain kind of thing, but we had never written a love song.”

For a couple that have been together for their entire adult lives, and have been performing music together for over a decade, it may seem a little odd that they’d never attempted a love song, but Gabriel has a theory regarding the long delay.

“The intimate brain that we have is not musical, it is even deeper than that, there is a friendship that Crystalla and I have that is actually hard to translate into music because we both love the entity of music so much.”

With their first single as No Grudges, they’ve finally “Put it Together,” although Gabriel notes “Put it Together” isn’t necessarily a traditional love song.

“If you look at “Put It Together,” yes it is a love song, but there is an underlying message of any kind of relationship, or anything you’re passionate about, it’s made of glass. People’s feelings, people’s emotions, people’s identities, are made of glass. The song is kind of dark. Imagine picking up anything made of glass and trying to put that back together. It’s impossible, and that’s kind of the point – be careful with somebody’s feelings.”

A daunting duet 

While some might assume it would be remarkably easy for a couple to sing a love song to each other, according to Gabriel, “When we play it, it drains us.”

“Even though I look at her every day, just looking at her, sometimes it’s too much. Especially on stage it’s hard to look at her because she has such a grasp on my heart, so to even sing a love song sometimes is too much. It’s too intense to be that exposed … It’s an intense thing to explain, our relationship, so we tried our best with ‘Put it Together.’”

“Put it Together” is just the start for No Grudges, as they expect to be releasing at least an EP’s worth of songs over the course of 2021.

With the strongest of bonds, and over a decade of playing together, No Grudges has a tightness very few band’s can claim. Looking at his significant other, Gabriel adds one more reason why he’s excited about what’s to come – “This lady, this wonderful lady, Crystalla, her voice just gets better and better every year.”

 

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