About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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It's Cartoon CelebReality!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
After watching the first episode of the latest installment of VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, and a couple episodes of Comedy Central’s Drawn Together, I have come up with the ultimate combination of the two, Cartoon Celebrity Fit Club. We could gather up all the best overweight cartoon characters, such as Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble from The Simpsons, Peter Griffin and his son from Family Guy, Cartman from South Park, Fat Albert, Elmer Fudd and Bluto from the Popeye cartoons, and have them all compete to see who can shed the most pounds. Yeah, I know, getting the rights to all those characters would be impossible, but that doesn’t take away from how awesome the idea is! I’d love to see Cartman curse out the drill sergeant and tell him to "respect my authority!" The show could also lead to a follow up, Breaking Barney Gumble, where a team of cameramen would follow Barney Gumble through rehab as he tackles the rampant alcoholism that forced him out of Cartoon Celebrity Fit Club. Yeah, my mind works in weird ways. Some may even question whether it’s working at all, but I think my crazy ideas are awesome.

Speaking of getting fit, I hit the gym yesterday at my usual time and I saw THEM. I see them every year at this time. They infest the gym, but it’s always temporary, lasting only a few weeks. There’s an occasional holdover, maybe 15 - 20% of the lot, but no more than that. They’re the Resolutionites! A colony of out of shape folks who feel there’s no better time than the turn of the calendar to tell themselves this is the year they’re going to get fit. Of course the majority of them won’t. The vast majority of Resolutionites get their gym membership then neglect to learn anything about the gym. Case in point would be the cardio machines, which were nearly all taken yesterday. The Resolutionites come in and many ignore the weights, thinking all they have to do is run on treadmills and do crunches. It’s kind of funny because the parking lot is packed but the actual gym portion of the gym is no more full than usual, all the new people are doing cardio. So for the next few weeks us real gym rats must suffer through the filled parking lots and packed cardio areas of our gyms and simply wait out the latest infestation of Resolutionites.

There’s no waiting in my work life, however, as no matter what happens for the rest of the year I am going to force myself to remember that the first week of 2006 was a kick ass week. Not only did my interview with Amber Smith for Soak go so well yesterday that it lasted nearly an hour, but today I also sold two more stories to Elemental. That’s three stories in three days! There’s no way I, or anyone else, can keep up such a pace, but as I said, the first week of ’06 gets a gold star so far.

The interview with Amber was a blast, she’s a fantastic talker and had a lot to say. A chunk of it will be left on the proverbial cutting room floor as I had to take what was about a 7,500 word Q&A and get it down to 2,000 words, but I still feel like I captured her essence and her spirit. One thing I’ve found is that when I record interviews I get a lot more text to play with, which in the end makes for better articles. It sounds rough editing things down so much, but it’s much easier to edit something down than be forced to try to put in filler just to boost a word count. It’s also always helpful when the person being interviewed actually has something to say and Amber sure as heck wasn’t short on topics she’s passionate about.

It looks like I’ll be spending the next couple days transcribing and writing up my two stories for Elemental. I’ve already completed my Amber story and sent it in to Soak. So far so good in 2006.
posted by Adam Bernard @ 4:32 PM  
  • At 5:11 AM, Blogger Ketchums said…

    Great idea for the show, it'd be interesting as hell...

    I'm a Resolutionite as well, but I'm reeeeeeeeeally trying lol...we'll see though - I'ma try to just have a more active lifestyle in general, i.e. walking to class, and work into the daily working out...

    Glad your stuff with Amber Smith went well...what you got goin with ELEMENTAL?

    Hit my blog; my solutions to the aforementioned hip-hop journalism problems are up, tell me what you think

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