About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Return To Sender
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
My boy Mongo got sent up for 18 months last year and when he went he made one request of me, to send him my articles and keep him up to date on what’s going on on the outside. Well, I had been sending packages full of clips for a while but got a letter today from the State of Connecticut Department of Correction stating my last package could not be delivered. Apparently my clip for Fish N Grits involved too much nudity and in Connecticut you can’t have nudie pics in prison. I find this odd since the majority of the letters to Fish N Grits are from inmates who enjoy the publication. What makes this even dumber is that rather than taking the offending article out, which would have been easy since I didn’t staple them all together, and giving my friend the rest of my mailing they sent EVERYTHING back, including the letter I sent to him which noted that I wasn’t sure if the one article would make it to him. So now I have a colorful slip from the Department of Corrections informing me that my package contained "nude photos unauthorized" and tomorrow I’ll be heading back to the post office to attempt to re-send the non-offending articles. At least I know my friend knows I was lookin out for him and tryin to get some visual stimulation his way.

Life hasn’t been all nude photos and corrections officers, over the weekend I ended up heading out with a friend to dinner and a bar. It was nice to get out, and even nicer to head to a bar I don’t normally go to. SkyBox wasn’t packed, but had a few pretty faces in there, enough to make people watching fun. Our personal favs were two girls who were completely on the prowl, giving a good eyeballing to every guy who walked in the place. Unfortunately for them they ended up being approached by a couple of herbs. How do I know they were herbs? Well, for one you could tell pretty easily by looking at them. You could also tell by the fact that the girls were not interested in them in the least. They even did the old look at the watch "oh it’s getting late" trick to leave the bar without them. By the time they left we were outside and when we saw them walking out the door by themselves we laughed knowing exactly what had happened.

This week has been exceptionally busy. I had two interviews yesterday, one with the amazingly gorgeous singer Natalise and one with Hip-Hop legend Tony Touch. I told Tony that his party last week was off the hook and he invited me to part two, unfortunately it was on the same night as In Da Mixx so it was a no-go for me. That’s OK, though, I’m so swamped with stories to write and pitch that I’m skipping one event this week and possibly a second.

In sports I’m extremely pissed at Bradon Looper right about now because we would have swept the yank-me’s if it wasn’t for his bum ass. I know being a closer isn’t the easiest job in the world but if you’re getting paid the kind of money he’s getting paid I expect you to get the save when it counts. I’m also not thrilled that the Hornets drafted Chris Paul, once again leaving my boy Speedy Claxton without a starting job. Oh well.

It just got pitch black outside. Either it’s going to rain or the apocalypse is upon us. If the four horseman come I want to meet Ric Flair.
posted by Adam Bernard @ 4:06 PM  
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