About Me

Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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At Least It's Not A Lacville '79
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Yesterday was another day of car fun. All those people who drive new cars or get a new car every couple of years, never get to experience the fun of owning a car that’s only a year younger than all of the current freshman in high school. The latest calamity that had afflicted my car was that the driver’s side door lock was stripped. This was fine when it still worked from the inside, but on Sunday night it decided that it just didn’t want to lock, ever. I tried everything I could but there was just no lockin it. This made for another trip to my mechanic (oddly enough the episode of Seinfeld where Puddy steals Jerry’s move was on last night and I had to agree with Jerry’s assertion that "you can’t compare sex with a good mechanic, you know how much a good mechanic is worth!?!?"). The cost wasn’t nearly as bad this time around, plus I got a cool new feature, a separate door key. Yup Yup, it’s back to the 70’s with my whip! Gotta love it! At the rate I’m goin pretty soon I’ll be singing something like THIS!

Once I finally got my car back it was late afternoon. I headed to the gym and while I was on the bike I caught a bit of Oprah outta the corner of my eye. There are a multitude of TV’s in the gym, mine is always tuned to BET but the one next to me had Oprah on and I noticed her guest was kinda hot. In fact, the more I looked at the guest the more I was like "damn, wonder what she’s sellin?" One picture of Joey Buttafuoco later and I realized the hot girl was actually the Long Island Lolita herself, Amy Fisher. She cleaned up really well for a Long Island girl, plus I know she’ll pop a bitch for her man, which is, oddly enough, a quality I kinda like in a woman.

Speaking of getting popped, Roy Jones Jr. sure took one to the head on Saturday night. The crack his skull made when it hit the mat was damned scary. Speaking as someone who was inspired to hit the gym more often by watching Roy Jones fights it’s very sad to see him go out like this. All that’s left in boxing is Antonio Tarver and Bernard Hopkins and Hopkins ain’t gettin any younger.

In music related news I just caught Kanye West’s video for "Workout Plan," and though it’s nice to see Vida Guerra in a video I gotta say that even the most fanatical of fans has to admit Kanye is not a socially conscious MC. Anyone who raps kneeling down behind a girl bent over on the floor officially relinquishes any concept of social consciousness, plus the moral of the song, being thin equals happiness, isn’t exactly good. I know the video is a lame attempt at humor and the song will played off as one, too, but even in humor there is usually some level of personal truth. Sorry Kanye, I see through you and I’m not the only one. Everyone who reads me regularly knows I’ve disliked the many masks Kanye has worn to gain popularity but eventually people are going to start to realize that’s exactly what they are, masks, and no man can keep up that many faces, eventually he’ll get trapped in one of his lies.

Final Thought: Is it just me or is that eharmony guy really creepy? Every time I see those ads on TV he just seems like he should be molesting a child somewhere. Yeeeech!
posted by Adam Bernard @ 1:57 PM  
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