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Name: Adam Bernard
Home: Fairfield, Connecticut, United States
About Me: Entertainment journalist with 15+ years of experience. Supporter of indie music. Lover of day baseball, fringe movies, & chicken shawarma. Part time ninja. Nerdy, but awesome.
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Friday, July 23, 2004
Well, I'm stuck at home now. I got into a massive car accident yesterday, some guy blindsided me while I was trying to change lanes. He nearly ripped my bumper completely off. Dude was obviously speeding since I was basically stopped while trying to merge (the guy in front of me was going two miles an hour, very lost, and was waving me by him). The first cop that showed up apparently had the authority to do nothing. All he really did was see if everyone was alright and asked for a brief description of what happened. As soon as the second cop showed up the first one left. Now the second cop, JOHN MORAN of the FAIRFIELD PD, is a prime example of everything that’s wrong with police today. The first thing this guy did was curse at me. He ineptly tried to put my bumper back on so I could move out of traffic but he couldn’t (note: the guy from AAA could). When he realized he couldn’t I said if he had a bungee cord we could use it to hold I up long enough to get to the side of the road. MORAN, who will now be known as Dickless McFag, flipped out, screaming "I don’t carry those! FUCK IT! I don’t care what you do!" Bear in mind I was the one who had just been hit by a van, thanks for the kind treatment.

At this point I had called my Mom (who lives nearby) to pick me up, she arrived in time to see some more great behavior by Dickless McFag. Now, McFag never asked what happened, he just disappeared into his car for 20 minutes to fill out two very small forms (apparently literacy isn’t high on the Fairfield PD’s requirements for a uniform). He eventually emerged from the car to announce to me that I was in the wrong and it was all my fault for trying to change lanes. Apparently, according to his interpretation of the law, if anyone ever changes lanes and gets hit it’s their own fault (something tells me this isn’t right).

This dipshit was getting on my last nerve but I was trying to be as nice as possible. I went up to him and in a very civil tone, or at least as civil as one can be immediately after their car’s been wrecked, they’ve been cursed at, and been told it’s all their fault, and I said "dawg, lemme explain to you what happened." Before I could get another word out he started screaming at me "what did you call me? Did you call me dawg? I’m not a dawg! I’m not down with your SLANG! I don’t know your LANGUAGE! You are too call me SIR!" His manner of speaking had VERY racist undertones to it and it really seemed as though he was two seconds away from using the N word (had he done that I would have punched him, no questions asked, I would not have cared about the repercussions). It was at this point that even my Mom was ready to punch him (and she could knock him the fuck out).

I will admit this, though, he was correct, he’s not a dawg, he’s a pig, a disgusting, overweight, racist pig, and quite frankly the world would be a better place without him. This wasn’t my first negative run-in with the Fairfield PD, they have a long history of acting this way, so all hail the great ghetto philosophers N.W.A., FUCK THA POLICE!

posted by Adam Bernard @ 5:04 PM  
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